musicx

byebye

2006-08-11T22:30:00.000+08:00

say goodbye to www.charcharx.blogspot.com

say hello to...

www.yourethereasoni.blogspot.com

BYEBYE

2006-07-19T18:48:00.000+08:00

as u can see. im not an active blogger anymore. so BYEEE (: i only use this if i wan make layouts. other than that.. BYEBYE (:

blahs

2006-07-06T20:43:00.000+08:00

i realise why i'm not really much into blogging anymore.
reason: i'm lazy to type and i'm lazy to express my thoughts.

anyways;

i will go the distance..
blahblahblah can't stop me..
i don't care.

i will pull through cus i love God & i know he loves me!

oh ya i love Italia (:
since i first watched the world cup; years ago.
THEY WILL WIN FRANCE I DONT CARE.

out#

shagged

2006-07-06T17:07:00.000+08:00

tired of taking medicine;

fed up by certain people..

sometimes i look back at my life and think.. why must things turn out this way, and not that way.. it's so complicating.. and frustrating at times.

i hate being sick and frustrated at the same time. you wanna confront that person and bash *blahblahblah* up but then again, ARGHYOURFREAKINGHEALTH just gets in the way.

life is MESSYmessyMESSY.
it just goes BOOOOOM. crash =(

the end-

2006-07-04T17:51:00.000+08:00

so many things have happened.
but i'm not going to blog...

suddenly im in no mood to blog...
maybe.. i might abandon blogging.
who knows =x

lalala

2006-06-30T21:13:00.000+08:00

i hate hypocrites like YOU! X)

i really cannot.. stand it anymore.
any moment.. a war might start.
haha..

u are terrible. u insult my friend when you are the one who should be insulted.
look around;
everyone HATES YOU.

tell me if you're lying

2006-06-29T17:54:00.000+08:00

drained#

won't you just walk away?

2006-06-28T20:00:00.000+08:00

hey;

things didn't really go the way i wanted it to go today. though it was really slacked and all.. i don't know why i just felt so freaking tired.. and really; damn shagged. i even lost my appetite cause i have no moooood. though its kinda proven that food makes you happy.. and it always work for me.. until today. and ohh, i realise i've gained kgs during the holidays *pouts* this isn't good.. argh. but then again, i'm lucky that i'm not f.a.t. oh praise the Lord

had the remaining stations for napfa.. well, got my gold.. but social issues are getting fucked up; and char's not happy!

oh and btw.. want to know what's the best thing to do to keep your mind off things?

solution: do your hmwk and listen to music (from your media player; which means.. leave your com on)

well, not infront of the computer though.. leave your msn on.. but put it to busy.. and when u come back on certain occasions for a break; can occasionally chat.. so you won't be so stressed. it works for me; but i don't know about you guys..

and so the benefits of doing that:

1. you complete your homework
2. you will think less about depressing shits

so now i'm going to get back to a.math.. so take care all!
LOVE(:

will she be loved?

2006-06-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

hey people;

today was a day with mixed up emotions. haha.. thanks to some people who just simply brighten up my day; fuck off to those who made it bad. at home.. my family really rocked today.. everyone was in a good mood.. even her (: one of the rarest days.. sadly some people had to simply screw it up-

i believe in a thing called.. love (:

cause you're so unbelievable

2006-06-25T20:19:00.000+08:00

heyy;

packed up all my stuffs for school tomorrow already.
packed my table alreadyy...

but my heart's not ready..

sighh

blooooooog (:

2006-06-23T23:44:00.000+08:00

i need to express many many and greatest thanks to three important people of my life..

thanks to xun, feli and matt

<3

you people have made life worth living (:
you people know me..

and also, thank God.. for being there for me...
AMEN*

sad

2006-06-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

conclusion of the day: life is sCaRy
yup; scary.

out*

this my SHIT ah

2006-06-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

haven't been in the mood for blogging the past few days. somethings were shits, but some were fun and meaningful. thanks KL for today. i managed to study quite a bit (: 3 cheers for studying at the school library whoohoo.. it's really good.. cause i don't have much distraction.. with the exception of our nonsensical conversations and all the crapping and my hp.. other than that.. its two thumbs up to studying at such a quiet place with a great friend (: after that.. i went down to the music room to pay my choir a visit.. and i'm quite happy to see them again. honestly, i miss the choir already.. and i sure do miss Mrs Peh.. anyways, to all who know her, her son is 1 mth old tmr. so yup, she's doing fine and all.. and i'm really happy for her (:

i'm so tired.. i haven't been having good night sleeps the past days.. either thinking through things or just lying there.. wishing things didn't go this way or that way or whatever.. i'm just so tired of all the nonsense i've been putting up with.. be it school, family, friends and everything.. and the one thing i sure hate is the sentence " i'll always be here for you, 24/7 " cause it's honestly impossible.. you can never be there for a person.. 24hours a day, and the 7 days of the week.. and simply the 365 days of the year. so i hate that assurance thing.. its so.. so not logical. and the pass few days.. sometimes i just don't know why i just cry or sulk over small things.. or get angry and pissed cause of another.. in the past.. i wouldn't feel this way.. hais.

but then again.. there are people who have been there for me.. even if they weren't there at that point in time.. or even if they just simply can't express themselves well.. but use jokes or short sweet advices that made me smile and just can't help but grin and think life's great. just wanna say.. i love you guys x) and you people really make my life worthwhile..

if you can't change smth; adapt to it.
i heard that somewhere.. a long time ago.. but it never sinks into my head.. and damn.. sometimes i feel that its so true.. but hard to follow.. i should really deal with the situations regarding some issues in that manner.. but.. it's really so hard.. so so fucking hard.

i'm going to watch the results show of Singapore Idol now (:
so see ya all... lovelove!

she's the man (:

2006-06-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging..

i found out the location of my N8250.. thanks for reminding me tselyn! went to town with Clare today. we ate ALOT of food. in fact, most of the money i brought was spent on food. don't count the wallet that i bought lah.. we went to watch 'She's the Man'. well, the show was not bad, pretty hilarious. it's suitable for people who really wanna have a good laugh. it's entertaining..

just came back from church. had to sing for one of the mass.. and it was a shocking 1hr30min thing. i was tired, but some parts were really funny and all. and this sunday.. it'll be our parish's annual feast day.. the choir i'm in will be singing (: this year we already had 2 events to sing for.. it's pretty fun lah.. the preparation too.. and i can't wait for.. christmas (: that'll be the next one to get ready for lah. and i love christmas. i just love love <3

tomorrow, i'm going to try and complete all my english homework
so yup, take care everyone. byebye (:

badminton (:

2006-06-16T19:24:00.000+08:00

i still don't know where my N8250 is.. can someone help me remember..

today was fun (:
oh yea, thanks xun and matt for last night...

family matters do drive you insane =( and the worse thing is that.. i didn't even do anything.. SIGH. ohwell.. but i'm praying! (:

i have nothing much to blog about...

last week of holidays arriving.. SIGH.

omfg

2006-06-15T21:08:00.000+08:00

1. can't remember where my N8250 ran too. if my good buds can rmb, please tell me.
2. i looked through all the old letters today. mostly from KL and even Clare. it's so hard to believe that time has flown by so quickly. these letters date back as early as the year 2004.
3. sorry jes

yup, my family spoilt my mood.
so i got nothing else to say.

its always the same old problem.

luxurious

2006-06-14T17:28:00.000+08:00

Thank God Everything Was Settled Last Night =)

last night was truely a night to remember..
forgetfulness & ignorance really kills friends/relationships..
but i thank God everything was thrashed out last night, if not i don't think i'd be smiling today. we looked through the 10happy and 10sad things.. but i realised.. the sad things did not even amount to 5, yet it nearly broke the sturdy foundation.

i guess, faith and trust does the trick =D

so i woke up at 10.. and i completed all my math homework.. both add and elementary maths. was a really great feeling.. to finally tackle all these..

after lunch, went to return the cd i rented with my sister yesterday... after which i went to meet a friend (: bought back bbt & fries for my siblings/cousin

now i'm back..
i'm going to slack... =)
2 more weeks left to school's beginning..

and i don't think it's something that i'm looking forward to.

i dare you to mooove(:

2006-06-13T00:42:00.001+08:00

Hey All I'm Back From Retreat! (:

Well, to kick things off, here's lyrics to this really old, yet nice song!

Never Be Replaced - 1st Ladi
Genre/Lang. : R'nB

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until (until) the end (the end) of time

From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you, and I wanna have your kids
It can never compare to the feeling of your kisses
I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You make me thank god that I live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt, in my mind
That I regret ever having you right by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something
I should probably let you know
Enjoyed everyday, that I spent with you
And I will miss you cause I'm happy that I had you at all

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I feel for you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

THE END(:

i got to know this song quite awhile ago,when i didn't make blogskins and just went around hunting for nice ones to use. There was this particular blogskin maker who used this song as a embedded bg sound for almost all her layouts. but hey, the layouts were pretty (: and so is the song! although it gets really whiny and draggy in someway.. but well, it is meaningful. go to you-tube and check it out. some of the videos ain't nice, but the song's still great =D

but i remember that my sister hates it. wahahaha whatever =p
im still gonna get my hands on that song!!
and this song has already been dedicated from me to somone! whooohooo (:

it's already 1.09am and i haven't finish blogging.. can't sleep, and i really am bored. i managed to complete Mrs Lim's chemistry homework, and now, i somehow feel that hardcopy is way better than sending via email and all.. not being old fashioned or what.. but high tech stuffs can be so unreliable at times ya know? ohwell, whatever it is, i finished my work, and i did my part..

and i just remembered i had more holiday work to do =(
emaths, phys, eng... and more chem, since she just posted up another prac paper on the elearning web. 4F/G friends should take note.. and speaking of elearning, it reminded me of the forum, and a partcular discussion thread.. entitled 'bullies'. started by Joshua, and ended by Mr Phillip. or rather attempted-stoppage of the thread. its so hilarious. but honestly, ain't the use of a forum for discussion? but why do people use it to suan or even wrongly/accuse (could be the person who started it, or even one of the passer-bys.. so yup, referring to no one in particular) just a random comment! (:-

lol its 1.36am and i stil haven't blogged finish, i'm so bored lahh.. that's why i'm doing other stuffs and then coming back again to blog finish. lols.

before i forget, i'd blog about my retreat!

okay. the retreat went pretty alright and all. thanks: tatum;bel;renee;tara;marianne;caroline and the manymany other people for the fun times (: true, we fell asleep between the meditative prayer session [everyone did, its hard to stay awake, trust me] & all that.. and true, we found the camp pretty sian.. but it was FUFILLING (: really. i've learnt so many many things. and i had a taste at dodgeball.. the one with the jail ones, not the one we played in school last year. it was super fun! [speaking of sports; mann i miss it] we celebrated renee's birthday too.. and mann.. it was a memorable camp! had new friends too.. and i realise that water makes fun forfeits -.- like for the game of bluff, if you get caught: drink water, catch the wrong person: drink water. HAHA. antioxidants, so.. good choice (: we had more stuffs.. worships & all.. and finally, we went back to church on sundayy evening for the mass... and i realise it was allsoworthit(: went with mum & dad for dinner at bedok central. yummmmmy foood! heh

speaking of mass, we had our usual hymns and some contemporary pop christian songs. i don't see why hymns are 'dull' and 'unattractive'.. well, i'm commenting on this not to shoot anyone. i just felt i had to say this out, as i came across someone who mentioned that. if people invented pop christian songs for commercial use or for influencial purposes, i'm sorry to say that they have not made a difference. true, they may have attracted people, but did you know, that other denominations still use hymns, yet we still have people coming in to accept Christ? and by saying that hymns are dull.. please.. it's really very wrong of you. God bless you. i'm not being bias to my denomination of christians.. but hey.. if you want to talk about religious matters, please spare a thought for others? thanks.

i'm not angry. i'm just telling you all my opinion. okay? opinion

SO! i'm done with the retreat stuffs, the schoolwork and all.. and the church thing.. now i'm going to blog about what happened today!

studied at macs with KL. and it was really productive. i like one-on-one studying.. it makes you focus.. but that person has to be seroius too lah. no point asking one gigantic group of people to go and it doesn't do anyone any good. was suppose to study with her tomorrow, but i've decided to listen to my dad for once =D

i realise that a month passes so fast.. and how much life changed within such a short period of time. happy moments, forgetful moments.. sad moments.. moments where you felt lost, and even want to do stupid things. there could be fights, disputes and arguments.. or even patching-ups, reunion.. but the one thing we must remember.. is to have faith!

just a word of encouragement to anyone feeling lost/sad/confused etc..
GOD IS WITH YOU X)

true! God is with us..
in all times, be it bad or good.

rejoice my friends(:
we get to live amongst God's creations once again!
and there is always hope! for miracles and all that stuffs.
so don't give up on life!

i'm going off now.. it's officially 2am..
hope you guys enjoyed this post!
take care!

chips and erm. beer?

2006-06-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

some people watch soccer cause everyone's watching. lol. funny.
i rmb the days when i was in pri sch.. when my uncle had the sports channel in his scv.. i would go over to watch.. haha..
mann. time passes so fast..
and last time it was world cup: France.. then the Japan/Korea wan.. and now Germany.. (:

went for tuition today..
morning was e math hmwk..
afternoon was some happy things.. which ended off quite.. =x

sometimes u just wish things would go smoothly.
but sadly.. facing reality. the chances are so slim..

nvm. all i can do is pray.

going on a retreat.. 2 days.
will be back on sunday.
(:
bye!

be my bad boy

2006-06-08T10:39:00.000+08:00

heyy..

completed this layout in abt 1hour plus..including the graphics =)
i like the colour scheme this time.. hopefully you guys like it too!

woke up pretty late today..
that's why i decided to blog before having my breakfast..
yesterday didn't really go well for me..
i went for tuition from 2-4 and ahhhh, my ezlink card wasn't there T_T
sighh.. i thought i could have dropped my ezlink card maybe at the tuition centre or smth..
mum told me to check out the ctrl station at the interchange tmr..
i just pray its there.. sighh.

i didn't mean to lose the card again..
yup. again. *slaps char*
so careless!!!

i wanna finish my holiday homework by this week.. and study for the last 2..
but can i complete what i've planned out?
in reality my Os are coming,
and suddenly i feel this sense of guilt.. that i haven't studied a lot, or rather, more than expected.. its so hard.. to stay focus and all.. and i really wished i had the motivation to do so.

okay i gtg and eat my breakfast; shall blog later!

miracles

2006-06-06T08:37:00.000+08:00

i thank God for miracles (:
and yup, i know i can fully recover..
the feeling of knowing that it ain't deadly brings comfort to my soul..
and i'm really relieved to know that things ain't that bad aft all..
well, i must take care though.
thanks xun, kl, matt & feli for the support u guys haf given me.
it was really appreciated!

and did i tell you friendster is fuckinglaggy?
and it doesnt wanna save my frickingupdatedprofile.

ughh. screwit.

yst.. spent the afternoon out with KL..
came back at about 5.. and got all panicky over going to the doc's..
and after the 'verdict' came... x) thank God!

came back, had a small [ok fine, big] quarrel wit my dad..
n my mum was yelling at me and all.. ohwell.
decided to do maths to get over wit it..
[cus it has enuf probs in it alr so i'd focus on it]
so i finished it.. by midnight.. and went to sleep.

woke up this damn early (7+am)! ohmy.. =X
ate my breakfast (cheese cake. yummy) and now i'm suppose to start on myy
holiday homework!

take care everyone!
char-

my girl & i

2006-06-03T22:59:00.000+08:00

i spent the entire morning at SGH..
first for my brother's appointment & then visit my grandmama.
the hospital brings back many memories. bad ones, yet one with some gd in it.
i found out some stuffs.. lol.. 2 years back.. and i nv expected it to be 2 years
since i was warded in CGH
n cause of some current issues i face,
wld i have to face needles and wards again?

i'm praying-

aft visiting, we headed down to Jack's place for brunch.
mann i just love the ribeye steak.
and the potato..
was having some lame times with my family..
and i wish there wld be more of such happy days.
spent quite a bomb for brunch.. but that wasn't all.

seems like my parents were in the mood for shopping..
so i managed to get my converse sneakers.
the world cup edition; Germany..
so now, i have the Italy bag.. and the Germany sneakers.
and o yea, did i tell you my fuckingretardedezlinkcard has gone missing again?!
yeah; im that forgetful.. sighh.. n now my mum's making noise..
): i don't want anymore scoldings...
and i wish time could heal it...

was watching the movie, "my girl & i"..
a korean movie.. romance genre..
it was really nice.. and yup, romantic -.-
sweet..
well, my sis cried, not me (:
but i admit it was touching lahh..

and the girl said;
do you think you cld even love a girl who u havent met for 50 years;
and you're not sure if you cld ever meet her again?

hard to ans eh?
owell..

choir practice tmr..
church tmr..
and i'm coming home,
and making sure i try and start on holiday homework...
hahas.. i only completed ss..

[i am tryin to stay happy- andiknowimust]

signing off-
lovelove(:

worse

2006-06-02T23:33:00.000+08:00

and it got worse..
told my mum.. but very vaguely..
but now, i'm really at lost;
cause
i don't know what to do...

was trying not to think about it the whole dayy..
n the idea of it is freaking me out im panicking every moment..
its making me all chilly and freaked.

it doesn't hurt; yet it bleeds.
wtf.

screaming. sigh

2006-06-02T12:48:00.000+08:00

i'm so confused and lost;
but i can turn to no one..
only God..

thanks Clare.. Mike.. Nick..
Sharon, Chris and Marianne
for yesterday..
the bbq was fantastic..
so was the melting ice cream cake..

thanks Gabriel for the encouragement this morning..

i've never felt this lost...
someone help me.. ):

sweet16

2006-05-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

hey..

first thing first..
thanks to all those who gave me those
splendid sms greetings and all that..

really appreciate all the effort put in for the gifts and all
esp my sister.. despite her band.. she went out after it and
i got my Italy world cup bag =))
and also.. not forgetting ANOTHER bag from my cousins.. hahaha
whats with bags.. lol
and ang pows from my relatives.. as usual..
Godpa havent bought for me yet.. but looking forward to it (:

so yup, i turned 16 today
and the choc cake was FAB..
and unique.. it looks lyk those cold cold kind..
but u actually have to put it into the microwave oven to melt it..
damn shiok lehh =)

ok lah im out.. there's school tmr.. ss and eng(totally yuck)
sighh.
bye all.

neos and more neos

2006-05-29T19:23:00.000+08:00

what a relieve...
the written papers for my chinese Os have ended alreadyy =)
time really passes so fricking fast..
and i just cannot wait for the oral + listening to end..
and get my desired results.. (hoping for an A2 at least)
and also.. i want Os to end SOON..

so after that.. swensens with KL. neos with KL.. (:
fun fun fun and more fun... =P it was a worthy trip! yays
and char must remember to take her dictionary from KL
when she goes to KL's house to collect her one and only
sweeeet 16 birthday gift!
thanks to Felicia darling for that beautiful gift!! (:
its so touching to hear that you folded all those stars by yourself..
its not a small number.. hehe..
and thanks to shar, jacq and cal for the wonderful fridayy!

watched xmen3 twice in cinemas..
first with the three of 'em
and second time with family (cause of some last min issues)
its not that bad.. in fact, it was pretty good..
and i waited for the credits to role.. only to find that the sneak thing
was a teeeny weeeny 10s thing? -.- rahhh

my godma gave birth to my second godbro this morning..
duncha just love kids? hehe x)
well, i know some hate kids.. and some don't like the idea of having one/two..
some wan a football team..
hahas, but personally.. i feel kids are cute(:

i can't wait for tomorrow to come!
and i can't wait for Thurs to come too (:

and all things in life are impossible without God.
love you all#

when it comes...

2006-05-25T22:05:00.000+08:00

hey..

chi lesson for the entire day, don't count the short hall talk..
it was so boring, about weblogs and all that.. and some counselling thing..
and there was a 45min recess.. thanks to the early release from the talk..
spent some of the recess time finding teachers & finding my choir file..
thank God it was in the chapel..
thanks yiru for pei-ing me (:
the remaining minutes was spent in the library..
and like i always say.. i have my tolerance level, and i won't care anymore..
i'm at peace with you, cause i ain't giving you any trouble.. happy now?

going out with calista, sharanya and jacq, maybe adilah tomorrow..
cine here i come again! (:
results slip out tomorrow..
hope things all turn out well

i'm honestly worried about chinese Os..
i don't wanna retake.. but i want to get at least a B3..
no less than that.. if i do i'd definitely retake..
if it doesn't go well..
my birthday will prob not be smth i'll be looking for too..

k lah i'm out..
LOVELOVE;

he's the one!

2006-05-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

special thanks to my loved ones (: muacks.

sports day

2006-05-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

congrats to all winners of shss' 51st sports day(:

give me your strength

2006-05-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

i realise i haven't been blogging..
i haven't been having much time to blog my thoughts out..
well, recently, my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride..
with loads of unexpectable happenings and situations..
and i actually shouted at a certain people/person and i apologise for that..
sorry kl.. i know i shouldn't have yelled at ya back then on Friday..

over the past couple of days, i have been looking at the situation i'm in..
i've looked back, and pondered over everything.. and i ask myself..
why am i bothering about her?
why am i letting her actions ruin my everyday activities?
people like xun, matt, kl, pam and even jes are telling to just ignore her
and just know that she can't change, and she won't change only if she wants to
(and it seems like she doesn't wanna)
by showing her that i'm irritated.. shows that she has suceeded..
so its a no-no to me now.. i ain't gonna let her words and actions affect my mood.
at the very least, i'll try to minimize the effect it has on me..

i can't believe i actually did many things i'd done just to deal with this situation..
i've been shouting at people, making stupid remarks..
but im glad i didn't lose some frenships.. in fact, i was surprised that they
actually felt the same way as i did..
i realise im not that tolerant haha.
actually, so not tolerant.
haha, im only good at hiding my feelings..

church today.
great.
the priest was talking bout the da vinci code..
in factm, i have a book on the facts and truth about the da vinci code.
it was given out today..

after i hear people coming to me asking about
Catholic teachings and erm, Opus Dei and Priory of Sion and all that..
the only thing i have to say now is..
Dan Brown.. what have you done.
and the media, why...
i believe that the teachings of the Catholic faith is true..
i believe..
but i thank God that some people bother to clarify..
at least they don't hear what the media says and absorbs like 100% of it..

choir tomorrow..
mooooooooooosica

im out (:

special thanks to the people i love.. (:
muacks

stressed

2006-05-17T20:53:00.000+08:00

fine fine,
i'll blog properly (:

*ahems; clears throat; fingers ready*

all set!

ok it was the first day back in school after the mid years..
though we only got back one paper, it was bad enough..
and it already hit me pretty shittingly hard..
57.. C5.. for chinese,
fricking disappointing, and heart breaking..
sigh!
my paper 2 pulled me down.. and at that point in time..
when i saw the mark.. i was DAMN sad lahh.. i had to fail it..
by one pathetic mark.. ARGH..
i wanted a B grade.. and i couldn't even get it..
and i'm prepared to see worse results that what i've gotten today..

ahhhh..
anyways.. ronin' came to our school today..
they're okay lah.. (:
support local music.. heh

student council commendation..
hafta get ready 4 piano songs by nxt thurs..

YAY im a robot..

duno y lahh..but i dun feel like blogging already..
tk care everyone..
byebye!

wipe away my tears

2006-05-16T20:29:00.000+08:00

exams are finally over..

im not gonna war with yah cus i don't want her to be affected.

ur pathetic.

went to town with my sis today.. bought some stuffs. enjoyed myself.
but the moment i came back i thought of that issue.

rahhh;

u better watch out.. santa wont give u presents..

ilovemytwoturtles:)
i actually bought another one.. the other wld be on my table, the other on my phone (:

logging off..
hope results wont kill me tmr

ihateyou*

2006-05-15T13:23:00.000+08:00

heyy..

i so regretted no studying for chem paper 1..
i mean, yes i did study.. but not as intensive as the last 2 week's papers.
i got physics paper 1 tmr, so i'd better focus on it..
rahh.. i want to kill myself.. i can't believe i did not focus
just because it was an mcq paper.
stupid Char.

the paper wasn't exactly tough.. it could be done..
but the lazy char didn't want to put in effort! ARGH.

REGRETS ):

oh yeah.
ihateyou*
i cannot believe you're doing this..
wake up and see..
what a fricking big attitude problem you have..
so if you're thinking you can make use of us..
you're wrong..
by ur actions
you're making life miserable for so many people..
so many of her close friends..
because it involves me.. im saying all this..
so please, just stop you childishness..
i admit i had done bad deeds..
and i had done so many wrong stuffs..
but at least i've stopped it, haven't i?
at least i've restrained my tongue..
or least stopped doing some stuffs that are wrong..

the only one that can change ur attitude is you.
no one else can do it for you..
so just think about it and.. reflect..

thankyou*

[if you and i don't mix around often;
then you know the person's not you.
if you think its you, when its rly not..
i got nothing to sayy]

BIGshot.. hurr

2006-05-14T17:00:00.000+08:00

hey(:

tmr's gonna be my chem mcq paper..
then tues' gonna be my phys mcq paper..
then..
WHEEEE.. there will be a -short- break..
before i hafta start mugging for my chi Os.

went to church in the morning..
i'm going to watch the Da Vinci Code at Cine
can't wait (:
went down to SGH after church to visit my grandmother with my mum & siblings
sigh it's been a long time since i last saw her.. and she's so weak..
sometimes i just wish that she wld just stop smoking and recover..
thinking about this makes me reflect on life..
and just what actually might happen so unexpectedly.. haiis.
ahh well, enough about sad things, i know she will recover! there's always hope (:

after visiting her,
we took the mrt down to orchard..
ate at wisma..
goodness.. the chicken rice there is fantastic..
and the other food there looks yummy as well..
and it doesn't look like a food court. heh..
who said you can't find cheap yet wonderful food in town.. haha

walked a lil after that, but i didn't buy anything.
or rather, couldn't.
i don't get it..
does short skirts show that
you're a naughty girl or an undecent one?
sigh, sometimes i just don't get it lahh..
its like not considered short,
and to my family.. its SUPER short -.-
puh-lease.. i'm tired of all this nonsense ok..
im sixteen, and i can't wear what i wanna..
forget it lah, i'll just save up lah.
i wan that billabong skirt also dun let..
its like lovely..
my birthday's coming, can't they just give me a happy one?

haiis.. k lah i gtg liao.. gonna study for myy chem..
haha, i wasnt even sure bout what paper i was gonna have tmr

oh yea; finally going out on tues (:
going to town with sharon for a movie..
yippie!

imOUT(:

in darkness; he's all i see (:

2006-05-13T14:27:00.000+08:00

hey(:

2 more papers; and i'll probably start revising
for them only tomorrow; i'm so tired!
i slept at 12+ last night..
after having one hilarious online conversation..
one that made me look back on last year..
hah; damn funny sia (:

woke up at 10+ this morning; without any dreams ):
i love dreams.. i realise they make u all happy and hyped up
and things get better when you get greeted
by lovely people in the morning
the moment u sign in on msn heh (:

gonna go shopping with my mum soon
decided to keep her company
while waiting for my sister. lol; piano..
thank God i passed my grade 8 exam in early march (:
officially free from piano yippie!
[well, unless i decide to finish up my theory; hmmm, shld i?]
most probably gonna walk along the shops in bedok interchange..
buy some FOOD ((: and also chit chat..
hopefully can convince her to get me a new hp
sobbies.. i miss the idea of transferring pics to the com..
and also putting mp3s as your ringtone..
i simply love doing that sobs..

ii wanna sleep and have a dream.. =x
i love dreams.. did i mention that just now? lol =D

i'm really bored now;
can't wait to get out of the house..
i'm gonna go for a concert tonight;
at acs barker there.. tjc choir's performing;
my cousin's singing/accompanyingg..
hope it'll be a nice concert...
ahhh... concerts.. brings back so many memories..
i remembered out choir went there once..
for a concert.. and mr tay was performing..

i miss those days..
i miss those choir days..
sadly.. i'm gonna step down.. ohwell

nvm.. life's all bout treasuring the old days
and moving on to make happier memories (:

imout! lovelove(:

iloveyou

2006-05-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

Everytime we touch; Cascada (:

I still hear your voice,
when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why.
Without you it's hard to survive.

Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go.
Want you in my life

Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side

i reach for the sky

2006-05-12T20:21:00.000+08:00

bias bias bias =(
evil lehh you two

went to town with my family in the afternoon.
it wasn't fun; in fact it was so full of bias acts.. =(
anyways. i ate gelato.. that italian ice cream.. its been a long time..
and i simply LOVE it (:
esp the lemon flavour..

sobbies i saw so manyy nice things today; billabong stuffs; adidas; nike..
ahhhh and i couldn't buy =( thanks to myy darling parents..
and myy oh so ~~adorable~~ brother (:

and now i want to buy my phone;
and they dunwan to get me one..
im not asking for some 3G or high megapixel integrated camera phone!

i just want one that can store music;
and can upload the images to the com;
and it has bluetooth.

is that a lot?
is char too demanding?

i actually went for phys tuition (:

im out! 2 more papers before the mid years are over..
sadly, its not the end; we still have chi Os at the end of the month;
*shivers*

thanks

2006-05-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

im a burden;
so not independent;
i realised it today..

thanks.

crystallized phone (:

2006-05-11T18:21:00.000+08:00

went to bugis today...
met up with my sister and her friend;
went to buy my mum a present for mother's day..
spent 40bucks on this handbag we saw..
we also got smth for our aunt.. a pair of earrings... pretty (:

walked around; bought some stuffs..
and tried not to ~~think~~ bout what happened yst..
my heart's in a confused state..
haiis..

if things keep going on like this..
i don't know what i'm gonna do...

took some neoprints just now.. its been a long time (:
missed the days when i went crazy over 'em.. but i stopped taking too much
cause i realised that they were abit.. expensive.. lol

i had a terrible nightmare last night...
and when i woke up... i just cried...

how does it feel to have a nightmare;
bout losing someone who died to save you..
and.. in the end.. u actually met the someone in ur dreams;
and u asked if the person still loved youu..
and the person said yes..

ahhh.. damn scary ok.. i honestly tell you...
you wouldn't want a dream like that... haiis =(

my heart's ~~aching~~
out! lovelove;

newlayout(:

2006-05-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

Hey all..

i said i wanted to put up a new layout.. and yay; here i am with one! x) yes, i know my e maths paper's tmr.. and im suppose to be revising and chiong-ing.. but i really have no mood. esp after what had happened.

ok lah; i should end here. i needa sleep early le!
just notifying you guys bout the new layout...

its kinda sadistic yes, but..
duncha think the drawing's cute?
heh, wish i could draw like that lor..

i'm out le...
bye!

seems like only yst

2006-05-10T14:56:00.000+08:00

SAD. A MATHS WAS OFFICIALLY SAD.
actually, coming to think of it... this mid year's SAD. the whole thing

SAD
SAD
SAD

i want to make a new blogskin... to get over myy sad moments with this thing called exams.

[d]epressing [e]xams.. booohoooo

its like u put in effort [i got lor!]
and then... it all goes down the drain..
though i tell myself that i have done my best.. and shouldn't have any regrets.. i always tend to tell myself: maybe i'm just not good enough..

yeah! maybe i'm not good enough..
not a good
friend..
sister..
godsister..
daughter..
grand daughter..

yeah; maybe i'm just not good enuf.
maybe not a bad person; but definitely not good enuf.

its like a sports car; when not everything's perfect.. no matter how hard u try to modify it.. it can never be perfect.

its like the sun; when it's too cold, living things blame you for not appearing. and when you feel like shining.. they blame you for being too bright and hot..

i dont know what to do LAHS.

there's smth running through my brain; im so confused.. she must do what she wants. we must make her happy. don't use ur past as an excuse; i don't see what good it does to you. it doesn't mean we can tolerate means our tolerance is infinite.. maybe she can.. but sorry i cant. okay? i cant. and i hate it.. the sight of such bossiness is a torture to my eyes. its gross and inhumaneeee.

YUCKS LAH!

and when i think of it i wanna puke..
actually; its more like.. when i think of you i wanna puke.
char'sOUT-

physics

2006-05-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

done with sec3 phys (:
really hope to finish all.. and at least look through everything before i go and sleep.

taking a look at the mid year standard fills me up with fear.. we really have so little time, and honestly, its not easy to cramp 2 years' work into ur brain.. as for subjects like maths and chinese.. the stuffs that comes out ain't just for this year or last year or both. in fact, its the entire sec school like syllabus.. gosh, it really freaks me out.

so stressful.. haiz..

maths was terrible today. i'm not gonna brood over it, but the paper really shows me how low my standard actually is, and how much i hafta buck up. geog wasn't that bad.. hopefully things will go out well.. made lotsa careless mistakes. ahh well =(

kk lah, im going off liao..
sec4 phys; here i come!

all the best for tmr's paper(s) ppl...
lovelove;
char!

dooms day

2006-05-07T22:28:00.000+08:00

hey..

this sunday was filled with fricking bias shits in the house.. and i thank God i managed to pull through with tolerance. if i can do it with her in school, maybe i can learn to tolerate them too. ahh well, thanks to someone for being there for me =) anyways, tmr's geog and e maths paper2. i hope that i can do well lehhs. sigh, honestly, mid year's so packed, and there's no time for us to revise the sec3 stuffs. i really hope that prelims won't be that bad.. and i pray that my chinese Os would go well too. *prays hard*

i realise that heart to heart talks really brings out the good side or another positive/unique side of a person you'd never expect to see. when you thought that he was a cold, silent guy or she was bitchy, wacky girl and nothing more, you would be surprise that his/her character doesnt end there. maybe if you'd wanna get closer to your loved ones, you could try having a heart to heart talk, instead of just yelling at each other all day and expecting each other to accept.. well, the other party has to be willing lah, and i doubt that's possible for busy workalcoholic parents/family members. haiis.. i don't quite get it.. why do parents always want their kids to make the first step. as busy as they are with work and all that, we too, are busy everyday with more and more projects and assignments. and hey, we have our friends too. haiis, parents are really hard to understand.. what a confusing character they adults possess.

i'm going for a blood test tmr. haha, really thank God that i'm not scared of needles =) and i kena poke 3 times in a row before.. and another 3 more on the hand for a drip.. my siblings would be going too.. wonder how it'd go.. hmmm.. hope my bro/sis doesnt scream. lol.

kk lah i'm signing out now..
all the best for tmr's papers!
[im honestly freakin out]
jia you! [x

love, char

You're Not Alone by Shanye Ward

2006-05-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

[you're not alone; shanye ward]

She's getting out of bed
At half past ten
She starts to comb her hair
Just an ordinary day
She looks at her reflection
Off the wall
Why do I care at all
Just an ordinary day
An ordinary day
That's hurting you
Don't hide out inside yourself
If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you
You're not alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
You're not alone
When your world is falling down
I will be the one around
You're not alone
You're not alone

She's waiting for the bus it's 12.59
She's sitting on her own
Just an ordinary day
She's looking at the people
Passing her by
It could be you and I
They would never dream
Of slowing down
To see if she's alright
Don't hide out inside yourself
If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you
You're not alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
You're not alone
When your world is falling down
I will be the one around
You're not alone

I'm hurting
She's hurting
I'm hurting, she's hurting
I'm so alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
I will be the one around

birthdays

2006-05-06T18:04:00.000+08:00

heys

(:

first of all.. happy spankin' 17 to myy dearest cousin Tessa... haha and i'll be 16 in like.. 24 days? ;) hehe.. tonight we're gonna have loadsa stuffs to eat.. yay! =x char should cut down on her food intake.. she's gonna get fat.. bahbah.. =x should be snapping some shots later x)

last night was a shitty night.. pms + cramps + foul mood.. what could be worse for most girls? i honestly must say guys are lucky to have been unable to feel this "pain"... ohwell... its part of life anyways. but i must say special thanks to matt, feli &xun for being here for me.. youu guys rock lahh (: huggs

went with mummy and sharon to tm today to get tessa jie's gift.. bought her a lil' smth.. hope she'll like it.. haha. went to replace 2 of my membership cards.. 77th street that one and the Popular card.. thanks to dishonesty.. haiis, i shan't bring up the past, but i do hope i can get a new wallet and handphone (ohgoodness.. haiis) for my birthday.. sobs i wan i wan i wan!! after that.. sharon went for piano lesson, while myy mum and i went a lil' shopping. had some bonding time with my mum.. and yap, really enjoyed it.. bought a few stuffs.. yummy food [yes again.. lol ^^] and i went to cut my hair. ok it ain't drastic like last time, and i thank God for that.. went to a different hair dresser.. yippie [x got it cut.. so i won't be afraid of getting caught.. but its still the same style.. onlyy shorter.. so yah, nothing biggy.

now i gotta study for my geog, a maths, phys and hopefully pass.. i need too! ahhh.. ss wasn't well done.. chinese was screwed.. eng was tough.. ohwell.. midyears are so stressful.. how bout prelims.. and how bout Os?? =(

worrying for my exams are out of my list
~~worries~~ <-- no more!!
cause i trust in God (:
with all myy heart

im out.. gotta bathe then go over to my uncle's house..
take care everyone.. and all the best for yourr mid year exams!!

-huggs
charr

fuck this shit

2006-05-05T22:06:00.000+08:00

swinging.

ss sucked; chi was screwed-
and have i ever mentioned how screwed you are?

fricking shit...

and i thouhght only sch matters was gonna be bad today. i was wrong lah..

you are a meanie..
everything also me me me..

fine; im always wrong-

char's imperfect;
pls don't make me feel useless-

im so hurt*

benlai

2006-05-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

heys(:

chem wasn't as bad as english.
english was pretty challengingg lehs.. and the summary was bullshit =x
now its 7pm.. and im going to study my ss..
i will pull through!

all the best to youu all in your mid year papers =)
don't lose faith.. always got hope de!

haha ok im out.. gonna study now (:
bye guys*

bad attituded

2006-05-02T22:40:00.000+08:00

heys (:

today was erm, an emo day. shitty moodswings.. lies and all that.. yucks. thanks to matt.. things ain't that bad lah. kk lah? thanks and sorry.. =x haha. dong dong qiang rocks today.. haha sec4 assembly.. it was damn 'unique'.. and honestly.. what's luo han? i was watching the show with.. question marks in my head.. though im chinese =x yah, im that bad wahahahs. but it was a good laugh. keke.

i found out smth today.
when guys like to walk in grps.. and they see a girl.. and they are in a mood to tease.. they will sayy things like.. 'chio bu.. *whistles*' right? if girls respond.. the guys call 'em bhb.. haha. someone told me that today.. and i saw it for myself. tsk tsk.

tuition was a bore today. well, not that bad cause we did chemistry instead.

i got nothing more to blog about. lol.
nth after school tmr.. hope to go home early and study.. whees

k lah. i go liao.
byebye

hopeforhopeless

2006-05-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

hey..

today wasn't a good day; i admit it was pretty bad.. had some quarrels and sad moments.. thus making studytime not exactly that fufilling. managed to clear all sec3 chem stuffs. now i gotta start on sec 4 one, and also start revising for my social studies.

family matters went kinda haywire.. and not to mention i'm still brooding over the lost of something close to me..

but like i always try to tell myself.. though the message nvr sinks in..
"there's always hope for everyone; even hope for those whom people say are hopeless"

the best thing that ever happened to me today.
when i woke up.. my bro was in the room. he came up to me, and said..

bro: jie, i know what i should get for your birthday, but i shouldn't say it, later you get angry
char: [still half awoke] haiya, its ok lah, you can say it.
bro: i'm gonna save money up from now till your birthday, then i can ask mummy to bring me out to buy for you a new and nice nice wallet.

wha.. damn TOUCHED LAH.
i just love my brother :)

then again; some of them thinks they're so high and mighty..
ah.. give me a break-

school starts again tmr.
if im not wrong, im having chinese listening compre tomorrow
yuck*

justFRICKINGdoit

2006-05-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

i can't sleep.
i'm thinking about the fucking ass who stole it.. dishonesty is a fucked up policy.. you will pay for what you have committed, one way or another. i know its a little abnormal for a girl to lose 3 things in 4 months; thanks to bloody fucked up theft.. today, my dad was standing outside the Nokia shop, looking at a phone that he wanted to buy to for me. ohmy i was fricking touched.. then the bloody dishonest shit thing came about.. and now, not only have i lost the chance of getting a new hp, i've lost my oneweekold wallet.

yes, i admit i'm careless too.. and i feel terrible. that has already taught me a lesson, and the theif doesn't have the right to extend my punishment, by stealing it. you could have bloody hell returned me my wallet.. yes, i know i've cursed at the theif, and its really wrong, so i decided to remove that part..

3 stealers, 3 items, in 4months...
im not suay; and yes, i still trust in God, and i believe that he has his reasons.
char is really not gonna stop losing faith in God.
she believes that she can conquer her temptations and fears with the help of her daddy in heave (:

now i've finally let all of these out;
char can rest in peace...

`loveyahall
happy labour dayy*
its about 29 days more to char's sweet 16!

thankyous

2006-04-30T22:22:00.000+08:00

greatest thanks to calvin..
thanks my friend :)

thanks to felicia as well..
and erm to clare and xun..

after what happened today..
i doubt i'd ever get a billabong wallet ever..

or maybe..
it'll be years before i would ever get one again..

like i told clare..
staying sad wouldn't bring it back..

i'm not being emo*

chAr's out.
[she had a bad day]

i can freaking do it

2006-04-29T22:41:00.000+08:00

icanfreakingdoit-

yes i'll show youu that i can
hrmph.

i'll show youu that myy grades will improve;
i'll show youu that i am capable of producing such results;

i know you don't like my hobbies;
i know you suspect things that you found out by underhand means;

youu don't respect people's privacy
youu want me to soul-search when you don't
even if its true; i'd rather not tell youu;
i intended to; but your underhand means spoilt it all-

i will motivate myself; my way; someway; somehow-
at the very least; i know i have people who love me..

and yes; God loves me-

so yeah;
char can make it.. no matter how fricking hard it is,
she will persevere

dont youu get in my way*

i thought you were suppose to love me??
are youu being loving??
youu sayy something mean and then youu apologise..
youu never think before youu say;
your work stresses youu <- that's your reasons

so does my school..
my exams..
thats why i come up with stupid lame things such as getting a
new hp if i can improve on 4 outta 7 subs..
but do youu care?

no you don't.
you heck care it..
then youu come apologise

what does sorry mean now?
hasn't it already lost its meaning?

chAr'sOut

day261

2006-04-29T15:44:00.000+08:00

heyhey(:

blogging before i scooooot off to study chemistryy.. i have like.. a few days more before the exam marathon begins.. it ends on da 16th of May.. the longest exam period i ever had.. but its great lah, cause its spread out so hopefully it won't cramp my brain =) and that also means i have more time to study! yippie.. but i really hope to do well.. sigh.. i never had nice results to give my parents since last year [i admit, sec1 and 2 was pretty alright but now? yuck]

Jacq's birthday's on tues but she's celebrating on mon.. awfully sorry yap girl, can't go out with yoo.. i feel so bad.. nvm, i'll definitelyy spend ONE day with yah after the exams.. yappa.. wheee.. i hope that after the mid years.. i can spend sometime playing and having fun.. then after that.. must mugg for chinese Os.. and then the day after chinese Os.. i can rejoice!! but after that.. i'll hafta go back to studyingg.. ohwell.. that's the life of a typical sec4 gal in sg ain't it..

so i spent the morningg stoning/slacking.. i spent the first 2hrs of the afternoon chatting on the phone.. and hehe realleh enjoying myself lehh.. until i forget about chem.. *bangs head*

okayy i shall go now..
have a nice day!

SIGHS*

2006-04-28T21:54:00.000+08:00

CHAR'S STITCHES R GONE =)
but sadly; something hurt Char todayy =(
so sad right.. i was looking forward to tell the good news..
then i couldnt.. but nvm char understand lo..

NEVERMIND i shall stay happy..
i just love my best friend =)
i hope my birthday will be a rocking sweet 16 =)

Eng and Chi paper1 today.. wow my brain was all.. CRAMPED
writing and writing.. and the idea of switching from el to chi in just.. what.. 45min?

owell. i came home. i chat on the phone. i go tuition. i go doctor. she look like chucky. she talks alot about blood (to my dad) and.. she removed my stitches.

so char went to sheng siong supermarket with mummy. and she volunteered to carry the 10kg bag of rice.. haha.. happy happy char try and carry... pretend to be macho.. lol.. but can la.. not that jiat lat.. whahahaa.

char is mad. officially mad.
mad = crazyy

WHEEEE =)

yoo

2006-04-27T18:18:00.000+08:00

*//at least i don't take people for granted
all yoo care about is yourself and what yoo think\\*

yap; that's all Char has to say today

Goodbye my Lover

2006-04-25T21:48:00.000+08:00

so many things happened last night; and i couldn't believe that i've survived through it.. many many thanks xun for the comfort last night.. really, thanks :) and to my two dearest juniors; u two really rock.. =] last night's issues really made me realise that i'm not that "strong" afterall.. and that i really need someone there for me.. be it friends or any trusted confidante; but sadly, when i looked forward to seeing one; my desire was not fulfilled :( it was a teary night.. but then again.. thank God i managed to calm down :)

school today wasn't that fun; neither was it that smooth flowing either. something happened.. and i was damn disappointed with someone whom i thought was symphatatic; or at the least; kind hearted.. all you do is please her; knowing that i wouldn't take it to heart. if things carries on this way; who's the unfair party? people might think that i'm petty; but seriously, at least i bother to even out my time right? different people; different yet equal attention.. i never neglected any of them.. so why do this now? to endanger our friendship at the last lap of secondary school?

i could feel the anger; disappointment and sadness in my heart for the next few periods; but managed to tell myself to cool down afterawhile. afterall.. if you don't care; why should i bother to vent my anger on such worthless issues right? so things chilled.. stuffs went quite okay.

during lifeskills today [yay; finally there is lifeskills; a break from ss but still; i love ms azlinda :) wonderful teacher] we had to go to the com lab to fill up some job thing. and goodness; i can't even match my desired careers to what suits my abilities and interest [the website makes u go through some modules thing so you can see your abilityes and interests]. well, there are some interesting jobs that i found interesting that i thought i couldn't do.. but it turned out to be the 'perfect' jobs for me.. =S wierd huh. lol

yay-ness; english was another slack period. whoohoo; and did i forget to mention that OHH didn't come too? making it 2hrs of slack slack slacky slack? =D shiokk lah!

a maths rememdial.. then ms azlinda's small study thing.. successful! and ms azlinda really rocks. =) i can't wait to have such small study grp things again.. i'll be more than willing to stay back lahh.

rushed home, and got ready for tuition..
a maths tuition; 2.5hours.. gawd.. i almost died :X
and i cannot stand the way he scolds people;
or comes up to us and says: what's your problem

SO rude leh! zzz

thank God there ain't tuition homework; supposedly we all hid our tys-es =)
so now i'm home; and im gonna mug for my geog test, 1/2 hr test tmr.

environment or development? hmmm.

okie; char's out!

LOVELOVE;
muaaaahhhs =)

the story of him and her

2006-04-24T17:41:00.000+08:00

heyhey(:

just woke up from my afternoon nap.. tried to stay awake to study chemistry; but i guess i wasn't disciplined enough ): ain't something good; owell.. i really should start to buck up now argh.. midyears start this friday. gosh; i hate the idea of having exams. haha char's already looking forward to the end of the midyears exam; then the end of my chinese Os =) today in chinese class; i was asking shar what grade she was aiming for her chi Olvl paper.. n we both had the same grade in mind.. wells; hope i really can reach my targeted grade.. =)

lessons were a bore; just that the eng lesson was damn slack ahh, cause our teacher didn't come. shiokk (: we had some word ws thing to do; and we had some tp survey form to fill up.

lunched with ven @ kfc before heading home.. with an aching jaw; and a itchy wound; signs of an infected wound? hope not! mum's bringing me to the doc later tonight; so i can go get it cleaned up and have a change of bandage..

thanks to all who showed concern;
like Pris; Vivian; Sarah; Chiam KL; Shar; and the many others who only found out about it today;
char really really appreciates it loads.

and to those who think it was really something to laugh and joke about; not only to me or at the one who had a similar problem 2 weeks ago or just love to make fun of others; do some fucking soulseaching wil ya? you think you will get away with it? sorry; but you fucking hell wont; cause do what to others what you want others to do unto yah; hrmph

-peace-

scars don't fade; will they ever?

char shall end here...
lovelove =)

what a yesterday

2006-04-22T13:06:00.000+08:00

thanks to the following people for your utmost concern..
because of what happened to me yesterday..

1. KL
- thanks for popping by my house to give me my stuffs from school and being there for me. iloveyou*

2. Matt
- thanks for popping by my house with KL; and thanks for simply being there for me

3. Felicia
- for being here for me! =)

4. Yunzhen
- for being with me while i was waiting for Ms Teo to come and attend to my wound. it must have been a bloody sight; but thanks for being here for me =)

5. Clare, He Xun, Venassa, Sharanya, Calista, Rong Ming, Devang, Jesley and some others who have expressed their concerns for me.
- Though its just a simple sms, online chatting or phone call.. i greatly appreciate it yah?

6. Mrs Serena Koh, Ms Teo and Mr Chiang
- For being sucha caring and concerned bunch of teachers, and specially to mrs koh for taking time off to send me to the hospital =)

7. Ms Ong
- For contacting my parents

7. Uncle &Aunt
- For driving me home from the hospital, and for praying for me =)

8. God
- For easing the pain

i know it will fully heal.. cause of the concerns from you guys!
if anyone wanna know what exactly happen; just ask me yeh? i won't blog bout it here =)
i'm just gonna stay at home and recuperate today.. no going out for me.. haha..
exams are approaching.. study hard guys!

btw; check out my wishlist posts above myy tagboard k? =P
i'll be back in school on Monday!
LOVE; Char

2006-04-20T00:15:00.000+08:00

More Accessories =)

I LOVE THIS SWATCH WATCH =)

others

I LOVE THESE =))
the bottles are so cute leh

Honestly; at the end of the day..
this is what i really
really
really
really want =(

i've been eyeing it for months.. since last year;
its the VANS pigs can fly special edition.. $119 from
the shop near to Kalms in century square..

well; and one of the bag in da first post of my wishlist

at the end of the day;
i also don't mind Kalms bear lar
or mebbe forever friends too..
or even a SHEEP =)

but.. well; its still the thought that counts..

and

the greatest wish for myy birthdayy this year..
is to have a meaningful one.. where i want the
company and the love more than just the
gifts; ang bao or whatsoeverr..

afterall;
char's honestlyy not -that- materialistic..

yupp.. i'm off now.. its so late at night already
and i gotta go to school tomorrow..
so BYEBYE...

LOVE; CHAR

continued

2006-04-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

aye.. the previous post was onlyy da bags LOL

Clothes

duncha just LOVE green? =)
this top's $39 from Garcon;
It's shop is located at the 4th floor
of the Heeren Shops

BEAUTIFUL. that's all i can sayy =x
$79; Mambo =)

Simple and lovely =)
$39 from Puma Boutique

I'd prefer a billabong bikini though =)
but i like the colour of this one.. lol so cheerful!

Accessories

i love this kindaa braclets & necklaces!
can be found in most of those jewellery shops
like montip and all that =) pretty cheap
yet they're really nice

im looking for such danglingg earrings
this one's about 6.90 frm minibits =)

did i tell youu what happen to the turtle
hanging from myy phone? SOBS. the string
snapped. owell; maybe you could get me
another one? with the handphone stand
to go along with it? =P the turtles can be
found from any more than words shop =)

My Wishlist

2006-04-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

Well; here are some stuffs i've been eyeing on recently (the past 4+ months).. realleh love some of them; hehe and my birthday's coming; ok lah i be frank with youu guys; here's myy wishlist lol.. x) magazine cuts taken from teenage; teens; seventeen; lime and cleo =)

Bags

mann i so love the green... its $59.90
well; Ricks is located at Far East Plaza Level One #01-81/95

This is a WONDERFUL and i repeat a
BEAUTIFUL bag from Nike;
Well, its $119.. sold at Nike shops..
well i think the best Nike shop to go
to is the one at Suntec =)

ooo my this beautiful pink roxy handbag's still something
i love thought its been around since Feb i think?
its $79 bucks.. from any roxy and surfer's shop i guess
and i really wish i could get my hands on it

i love this bag!! i love the colour!!
ohwell; sadly its quite ex lar; $149 from
new urban male

Good Friday - Praise the Lord for his goodness and grace

2006-04-14T10:30:00.000+08:00

hey all; i'm going to blog about yesterday and what's gonna happen today- alright here it goes :)

thursday

this morning was one of the few time that i got picked on by a teacher for talking in class this year.. stupid lah.. the class was like damn noisy lar.. but nvm, at least she didn't make me stand throughout the entire lesson or smth. lol.. my punishment was to rub the whiteboard -.-

had my chinese test today and oh my.. it was so fun! all i did was to tikam tikam choose lor! *claps hand* so fun right -.- ok the truth is that i didn't study, and i didn't expect the chinese teachers to set a paper asking us what was the freaking meaning of words lah.. and the cloze passages were bullshit.. all also anyhow choose.. i'll just pray that i can get a 20+ outta 50.. oh well.. hope that is possible..

anyways.. i had a fun conversation with my chinese teacher today.

(all translated to english, cause i so don't wanna type out in han yu pin yin; i'd just probably screw it up)

teacher: if you don't turn up for chinese remedial today; i will not give you back your test papers
[apparantly she was really angry cause many of my classmates were not putting in effort?]
char: erm, i can't make it
teacher: why?!
char: i got church

so it seems like my teacher ignored me and walked away.. so i still didn't care..
but... it was during chem, that i "did" my zuo ye, which she wanted to go through during chi remedial in the afternoon.. and handed it in to her (she was having a class at 3G classrm, so it was easy for me).. thanks KL :)

char: cher here's my zuo ye, since i can't make it i'll pass you my zuo ye
teacher: okay, don't worry i understand

YAY. no chinese remedial. but i REALLY had church hor!

went home after school - with a detour

took a shower and after a while, got ready to go to church. and i got into a big quarrel and nag.. just because i wanted to wear a skirt but she said no. i almost shouted.. but i kept quiet (but yelled quite a bit on MSN) its so fricking unfair lah.. i want to wear skirt, cannot. i want to do this, cannot.. do that, cannot. out to make my life square isit? too bad i've done so much more things than my cousins have done, much more things that my siblings have done and you DONT know about it. maybe, you don't even know me at all. AT ALL.

so i went to church and thank God my parents were there so i didn't have to suffer any further.. thanks someone for that phone call it made me smile a little.. well, at least i smiled.. after church.. which was 1.5 hours long, we went to visit churches!

from bedok -> sengkang -> hougang -> SLE (stupid daddy drove the wrong way HAH) -> PIE -> HOME SWEET HOME!

came home and SLEEEEEP ah shiok~

today

woke up at 1015; gonna go church from 1+ to about latest 7 i hope? im soooo tired.
just ate my breakfast (11.24am).. haha.. tang hoon noodles with fishballs..

im going to church soon...... then its gonna be choir practice... yippie yay yay (=
wonder how things will go today.. hope i have no sad moments...

depression?

2006-04-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

ireallydontknowwhatiswrongwithme.

in the past; my mood was always the same..
(yeh most of you know how things went last time;
and that aint smth i wanna rmb)
then someone/thing- made me happier..
months have passed..
and i am now the happier;
the wayway much more optimistic Chartan..
and by far the most optimistic Chartan
you've seen in -years-

but i realise.. with happiness comes consequences..
since then..
the "sadness" comes at night..
and i can't seem to sleep
it's not that i'm worrying;
but

the negative thoughts just come to my head..
especially after11pm..
why? i always asked myself..
is it because my brain's malfunctioning
but i'm still trying to stay awake to study, stay online, or just simply..

stay awake?

now i suddenly feel so sad;
so whadafuck is wrong with Char?
issit just stress or something?
or is it realleh something wrong with Char's brain?

it realleh seems to get worse.. recently.. though i have
happy moments in the day...
and sometimes i just lie in bed for whatseemslikehours before i can knock out..
i don't force my eyes open.. i am physically tired..
but shits keep running through mah head every now and then at night..

sad things that seems so reaL?
and sad things that looks like can happen anytime the next day.. like just now; the moment i turned on the song 'Almost Here' by Bryan McFadden feat. Delta Goodrem... and went online to get da lyrics.. all the negative pieces of shit just came knocking at my door..

some ppl noticed that i've been really quiet and tired the past weeks.. but i look happy.. what a wierd combination lar..

so somebody tell me whaddafuck is wrong with Ms. Tan here..

thoughi'mwityouu;sometimes;
itfeelslyk
you'reonly
almosthere-

sometimes at nite;lovedoesntseemtaexist- :(

im here waiting - CRASH

2006-04-11T21:18:00.000+08:00

hey all!

=]

today went pretty alright.. but as the days passed.. i can feel the pressure rising.. so from tomorrow, 12th April 2006... char will start her revision for her midyears. and char will not resort to studying the day before the exam itself anymore. (i've been doing that the past 3 years, wonder if i can really change this time) L1R5- 10 points? LOL (at least im setting a target for myself)

speaking of 12th April.. its tomorrow! time really flies! wow.. and so many things have happened- many happy;sad;angry;disappointing moments.. seeing how far and fast things have progressed until makes me happy =D

iknowthehappythingswilllast :)

school was pretty boring.. nothing fun happened today.. and i've seen another side of a person.. and i was very shocked by it.. i thought that she wasn't like that at all.. her character's much more complicated than i thought it was.. :( very disappointing leh.. I just hope that i can accept that other half of her soon enough.. char should follow the AAA thing mah.. so must appreciate the gd side of her, and also adapt to that fact that she has that other half.. ohwell.

thanks matt for pei-ing me home after school :) it has been greatly appreciated!

i decided to cab home as i was hella tired.. finished e maths homework.. and decided to plan out my study schedule! (hah, i so cannot believe i did that).. i manage to spread everything out, and i hope that it'll go on as fine..

thankGOD tuition was cancelled.. =)
and i have no tuition for the week!
cause.. its the holy week lah. yup, so i hafta sing sing and go church.. and got public holiday somemore.. so good lor.. taking holy week as the last week of "rest".. cause on Saturday i'll be in church from evening till night i think.. or early morning i forgot.. then sundayy must go church again. but i will still study for my chem test that will be on Monday.. cause GODshall be my strength! =)

n there's an amath test nxt wed.. maxima and minima shits.. and i AM gonna try and study lahh.. really lorr..

kk la i stop here liao...
LOVE;

frustrations-

2006-04-10T19:01:00.000+08:00

the 3As...

accept
appreciate
adapt

and i totally agree with the morning devotion today. thanks ms yew.. your morning devotion made reflect.. true, why worry about the 1000 things u cannot do.. when you can think about the 9000 things you can do?

let me try and apply the 3As to my big FAT RED PIMPLE.. hmmm.. (if it fails i tell youu i'm so GONNA JUMP)

CHAR; accept the fact that youu have a big fat red pimple..
CHAR; appreciate the other good stuffs you have

and finally

CHAR; stop COVERING YOUR PIMPLE and adapt to the redness on your skin till it FADES

ok i dont know if that helped me anot.. RAHH!

-_-

so many things made my blood boil today..
like how irresponsible some people are..
like how inconsiderate and blunt some asses are..

choir was sucha bore today..
thanks FELI;RM;XUN for trying to make the choir more interesting..
while others actions just pissed me off..
get a freaking life lah..
and i'm not the only one who finds it a turnoff.. at least we show you guys respect when you guys do yourr part, don't we? we dont RAIL or laugh loudly

so lets all say cheese.. laugh.. reflect.. then die XD

and i realise.. this is the last choir prac before mid years end.. NOOOOO =( ahh well, maybe char should really study now.. =x

miss sg universe 2006

2006-04-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

the moment the miss sg universe 2006 results was announced.. i thought i'd heard it wrongly.. BAHS. ok i shall not comment so much. i was supporting another contestant.. cause that contestant's a friend's cousin.. and she IS glam.. and outstanding.. and honestly.. really photogenic (if youu watched, i think you'd know who i am referring to).. AND.. she's smart!

well.. sg has decided. and the winner.. will be representing sg in LA.. for the miss universe title.. hah! how old is she, can someone enlighten me? cause i only watch finals..

oh yea.. they asked this qn.. abt the notion that foreign men are better than sg men.. and Adrian Pang was the one asking the qn (honestly pathetatic i tell you).. and according to someone who was present at mediacorp itself.. there were many angmohs there.. hmmm..

beauty is subjective- do you agree?

haha ok lah.. im gng off here.. till next time.. (should be tmr)
LOVE;

feel the rush(=

2006-04-09T13:49:00.000+08:00

its a sunday afternoon and i'm.. stuck at home =(

ouch.

dragged myself outta bed at 7.50am this morning.. got ready for church.. and left for confirmation class.. the last class' gonna be next next week.. AND.. there's no class nxt week. well, i admit that it can be boring lahs, but i'll miss it.. DUH. 9.5 years of classes in the morning.. and on the 16th of July [confirmation] im gonna be on my own! and i'd definitelyy stick to church.. it's the first time in OLPS' history that our confirmation's been pushed to a later date.. thanks to the archbishop's busy schedule.. anyways.. i just simply love Sundays.. and its really great to spend the morning in church.. and i encourage all my friends who have lost connection with church or whatsoever (irregardless of whether you're a Catholic or Christian).. please think twice about leaving.. and come back again! no matter what.. you're always welcomed into the house of God.. no matter how bitchy.. how loner.. or how.. err.. poor youu are at socialising.. the church's always the best place to begin your 'new' life! wells, church was pretty alright today.. great homily[sermon to christians] and.. i actually listened!! X) wells, cause last week kena caught for talking at the choir loft.. so this week be a lil more guai lor. =x ahh well..

came back home after having lunch at a hawker centre. had kueh chap (haiya dun care abt the spelling lar.. im sure u knw what is that)... and borrowed some vcd to watch.. some ice skating thingthing.. shall watch it tonight with Sharon =) sigh.. there's school tomorrow.. and a new week.. meaning, one week closer to Mid years.. stepping down from choir.. Chi Os.. then prelims.. then Os.. it's stressful lahs.. yucks.. i dunt like! i wish i could just jump Os and go to As then go university haha.. but then again.. As and Uni also more stress.. arghh. Singapore's education system lahh.. ohwell..

watched the memoirs of a geisha last night [according to Clare im really slow, but sorry lah woman, i nvr watch in cinema mahh].. well.. it was -alright- lahh.. maybe 3.5 stars outta 5.. cause it can get really boring.

ok nothing much alreadyy.. gonna go bathe then catch up on schoolwork then go SLEEP (maybe)..

see you guys soon!
LOVE;

finally

2006-04-08T16:54:00.000+08:00

new layout;
brushes from various sites;
they are credited at bottom right-

enjoy!

LOVE;

canon in d-

2006-04-08T11:53:00.000+08:00

added the canon in D midi onto my blogg.. hah, cause the blog layout's getting a little boringg.. so here's something additional till i decide to redesign myy blog.. which should be soon.. i hope. =)

till next time..
BYEBYE-

2006-04-07T20:32:00.000+08:00

XUN; furball; jesley; clareee;

thanks

-for everything youu guys haf done for me last night, and every other times
-i could not have lasted the night without you four

thanks to KL &Ven for today.. thanks ven, pamela, yiru, andrea and the many others who have cheered me up during the maths thing..

and now im glad everything's alright...really
i just hope that you wunt make the same mistakes again and again..

the day went okok lor. nothing much to say.. just that..
rest well joyce!

and tk care all!

LOVELOVE! =)
char

beep*

2006-04-05T18:58:00.000+08:00

hey all! met KL at 8.05am at her void deck before going ta school... well, today wasn't -that- bad.. one good thing was i got away frm explaining abt my absence frm mrs wong's a maths remedal..

mrs wong asked me why i skipped her a maths remedial yst...

mrs wong: charmaine, yst u run away frm a maths tuition arh..
char: no, i wasn't feeling well lor.. *rolls eyes and runs away*

LOL

thank God she didn't ask me for a parent's letta or smth liddat.. if not i'd be in deeeeep trouble.. =x but i had a maths tuition yst lor.. from 7-9 lehs.. pity me a little lah dammit.. bahs.. presented muah geog project today.. 38/50.. totally upsetting.. honestly, i expected more sia.. we put in so much effort lor.. sighh.. she actually said: ii found that u didnt put tt much effort into da model.. omg? i wasted myy entire afternoon doing up smth that looked like a desert & showed the difference between a savannah & a desertified area.. *waves* u go do one urself lah.. walao.. even a spider loved the desert -so- much it decided to stay there lahs.. damn sad lehh.. 38/50.. my distinction for combined humanities has gone down the drain.. byebye A1 =( char so sad leh.. felt that we deserved a lil more marks? sigh

the rest of the day wasn't that fun.. but hah, thanks for the A maths tb matt =) without it.. i sure kena nagged at lor.. had fun vandalising ur book too! keke. had fun time with Sharanya during phys today.. i was a smiley-face drawer.. hahaa.. fun lor.. looked around and drew up all the faces on ppl's phys notes..

chem aft that. practical stuffs. hmmm.. nth much already.. just that i lunched in school.. with sharanyaa and KL.. everytime i eat in school, sure eat the tom yam lor.. unless its a biggy exception.. i'll eat smth else.. hahas..

record: went home straight after school today ^^ (well, don't count the lunch, cus it was in sch) and char actually studied when she came home! haha, one chapter of phys.. to those studious ppl.. i knw its nth to you ppl but.. its an improvement!

was on the phone for two hours aft that.. fun lah..
okie lar, gonna reply felicia's letter now...
then do a few chpts of chem or smth..

and maybe, i stress maybe...
char's gonna practice her maths! >.<

till nxt time.. bye!

LOVELOVE
char-

it's been awhile

2006-04-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

ohmy i haven't been blogging since last wednesday.. *scratches head* what have i been so busy with? time flies so fast, and its already the month of April.. it's just about 50+ days to our first O level paper! *CHINESE* blahs. honestly, my chinese has improved! hehe, my paper2 i mean, not sure about paper1.. hope my standard stays there, though our chinese teacher hasn't been doing paper1 stuffs (she'll be dng it tmr).. i really hope that my hard work will pay off.. 29th May 2006.. the kickoff of the GCEOlvl examinations2006... rly wonder how it'll go lehs. when i was in lower sec or even sec3, i've always wished time could fly faster.. but now, i just wish time wld fly slower. facing reality, it's flying even faster than i could barely imagine..

oh yeah, if you guys had read my tagboard, you'll rmb smth about a flying hamster. well, last thurs, KL and I were walking home after school, when she mentioned about hammie and tinkie, her two hamsters, who had unfortunatelyy passsed awayy.. well, KL had smth to sayy about her two hamsters: hammie and tinkie still comes to visit me.. and every mth they hafta register again to get new wings (cause they fly from heaven to Tampines, long way). Char: LOL- *laughs non-stop* i wanted to photoshop a hamster with wings to illustrate the story, but sadly, i didn't have the chance to.. ohwell..

Impressions8 was on last friday (well, it seems lyk everyone has blogged abt it, so nw its my turn).. well, the only thing i can say is: good job wind orchestra.. it was a pleasant evening.. well, apart frm some factors that kindaa screwed up certain parts.. everything else went real good. like the dinner at billy bombers.. and the fun times.. realleh, thanks Matt &RM.. though some things caused a bit of a problem/akwardness.. but hey.. things went alright lah..

and here are something i can conclude frm friday's outing with the 2 guys:
1. guys, never, and i repeat, NEVER step on a girl's shoes.. esp if they can come out easilyy..
2. guys, pls dont exaggerate that the girl's shorter than youu.
3. guys, don't lift up ur shoe during a concert, cause it causes displeasures to ppl in the concert hall..

LOL

mrt-ed back to tampines.. had a wonderful train ride.. simplyy loved it =)

(you cannot believe the nxt part)

.....
........

Char realleh cannot believe that she actually woke up for tuition the nxt day! A maths, 2.5hours.. from 8.30-11AM.. gross but.. i did it! i woke up! lol... though i wasnt even listening.. but.. well, at least i went right.. hahaha.. so some stuffs should go in right? hmmm..

sunday. u know the usual, church.. choir.. and all that.. there was this combined sec4 thing about the Holy Spirit. Held in the parish hall from 2-4.. Angela, Tara, Marianne and I were practically fooling around.. esp with Angela and myy pink lighter (hung frm my green purse).. And Angela's actuallyy my pri6 classmate.. and we lost touch for about 2.5 years (she joint our class in late sec3 i think)? haha, it's great to meet up with her once again.. cause to be honest, i havent really kept in touch with anymore sac-ians. shan't comment about that.. =x after that, there was this super HUGE thunderstorm.. and thank God Angela's mum managed to drop me off my Bedok interchange.. =x real lucky. but, i cldnt go home.. so i spent 1hr in bedok interchange (honestly you can do nothing there except shop for lian stuffs) walking around till my parents and Jarett finally came.. -_- one hour! i could have.. hmmm.. done many things at home..

so now, about today! suffered from the effects of last night's raspberry vodka, had a little drink on sundayy with my dad.. while watching some tv stuff. i realise onlyy my dad and i can drink.. Sharon, mum and Jarett can barely drink it.. lols. had a terrible headache, and i was real quiet in class (hey, maybe by drinking some alcohol the nite before, char can be quiet in class! yay! -_-) well, the quietness didnt really last, cus durin lunch, i started to get hyper already, and so was i in choir. (well, i wasnt hyper in chem.. due to some personal reasons which i dont wanna mention)

over the past few days, i've learnt one thing and it is to: appreciate the people around you
spending time togetha ain't the most impt thing in any frenship/relationship.. thats what i've learnt for the past eight months.. =) since that 'war' i had with someone last year, i've learnt to trust.. and in this past 8mths and moving on and on.. i've learnt tolerance, hardship, understanding and most imptantly.. appreciation

to one special person: i understand and i still love you =)
to the one whom i 'wared' with: we'll rock on with our friendship/sistership.. love youu!

appreciate the things youu haf people.. and don't forget to thank God for it.. Love him with all yourr heart! =)

Till the nxt time (which i dont know when)...
LOVELOVE!

CHAR-

2006-03-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon comeoutof the operating room. She said: "How is my littleboy? Is he going to be all right? When can I seehim?" The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We didall we could, but your boy didn't make it."Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer?Doesn't God care any more? Where were you,God,when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked,"Would you like some time alone with your son?Oneof the nurses will be out in a few minutes, beforehe's transported to the university." Sallyasked the nurse to stay with her while she saidgood-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovinglythrough his thick red curly hair. "Would you likea lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sallynodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy'shair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it toSally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea todonate his body to the University for Study. Hesaid it might help somebody else. "I said no atfirst, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using itafter I die. Maybe it will help some other littleboy spend one more day with his Mom."

She wenton,"My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking ofsomeone else. Always wanting to help others if hecould." Sally walked out of Children's mercyHospital for the last time, after spending most ofthe last six months there. She put the bag withJimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in thecar. The drive home was difficult. It was evenharder to enter the empty house. She carriedJimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with thelock of his hair to her son's room. She startedplacing the model cars and other personal thingsback in his room exactly where he had always keptthem. She laid down across his bed and, hugginghis pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It wasaround midnight when Sally awoke. Laying besideher on the bed was a folded letter. The lettersaid: "Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me;but don't think that I will ever forget you, orstop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to sayI LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, evenmorewith each day. Someday we will see each otheragain. Until then, if you want to adopt a littleboy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay withme. He can have my room and old stuff to playwith. But, if you decide to get a girl instead,she probably wouldn't like the same things us boysdo. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girlslike, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me.This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpamet me as soon as I got here and showed mearoundsome, but it will take a long time to seeeverything. The angels are so cool. I love towatch them fly. And, you know what? Jesusdoesn'tlook like any of his pictures. Yet, when I sawHim, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me tosee GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit onGod's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebodyimportant. That's when I told Him that I wanted towrite you a letter, to tell you good-bye andeverything. But I already knew that wasn'tallowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handedmesome paper and His own personal pen to write youthis letter. I think Gabriel is the name of theangel who is going to drop this letter off to you.God said for me to give you the answer to one ofthe questions you asked Him 'Where was He whenIneeded him?' "God said He was in the same placewith me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross.He was right there, as He always is with all Hischildren. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else cansee what I've written except you. To everyone elsethis is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't thatcool? I have to give God His pen back now. Heneeds it to write some more names in the Book ofLife. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesusfor supper. I'm, sure the food will be great.Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurtanymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad becauseI couldn't stand that pain anymore and Godcouldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either.That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to comegetme. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! Howabout that? Signed with Love from God, Jesus &Me. (Let's see Satan stop this one.)

i picked this out from a friendster bulletin and decided to post this thing here.. i find it really touching.. so i decided to share it with youu guys!

tk care!

char's outt

take me home tonight

2006-03-29T20:07:00.000+08:00

I couldn't blog last night, cus it seemed like my internet went all shitty.. ah well.. but at least i'm back! hahahas..

Woke up at 7.10am after having a wierd dream.. with similar meanings to some previous ones.. i met up with KL after popping by macs to quickly tk away a convenient breakfast.. and when i told her about that dream of mine.. she actually said that i keep dreaming of 'it' cause it might be something that i think too deeply about.. or just too worried about.. oh well.. i hope i ain't thinking too much about it..but the dream was frightening afterall.. =(

The day went alright.. pretty boring and all.. and i wasn't looking forward to the first two periods after recess. A maths test was like shit.. and i cldnt really do any of the qns.. haiz.. char's damn bad at a maths.. and she still wanna escape from her tuition.. Physics.. not that bad cause nuclear physics is kinda interesting. Chem was okok lah.. practical in the lab about rate of reaction..

after school, it was the amazing race thing.. each class had to send 4 representatives.. so 4G was represented by Jacq, Marcus, Shawn Toh n myself.. it went pretty alright.. quite fun actually.. though we didn't win.. we actually enjoyed ourselves.. liked the idea of our class mascot.. =)

went back home with KL.. tomorrow char's gonna stay back for chem remedial.. hmmm it wont really be a remedial but but.. at least i'd be doing work cause i'll be under mrs lim's nose.. haha, meaning, i cant be distracted by my hp.. every thurs and maybe wednesday.. 1hr 30min each.. i'd be studying chemistry! Haha, and next week, there will be other classes after sch, making it really pack, yet meaningful.. cause i can finally get the motivation to start studyin for Os.. yeah char, well done! =)

came home at about 5.. and i started on my homework with my cousin.. and i've finished all my homework already! hahaha what an achieivement..char's most prolly gonna study for her e maths test later.. and i hafta complete my letter to KL.. delayed it for 2 days already.. sigh, that's so not char. tsk.

where are youu =(

i gtg now.. byee

youpieceofdumbshit*

2006-03-27T19:35:00.000+08:00

ooo it's been a long time since i've blogged as i realise i just don't feel like updating my blog whahahas. anyways, biggest thanks going out to Matt and Felicia and the many many choir people who have brought in some happiness &hope.. =) yeh, i was in a foul mood regarding an issue.. but now i realise there's no point thinking about it already.. it's her decision and their plans.. and maybe i shouldn't have been sensitive on my part- i guess? but hey, discussing such things in front of me when youu know i have some shit issues against that thing.. is it respectful in the first place? ok let's not use respect.. maybe.. just pity me and plan when i'm away lah can? i already resort to ask to be pitied not respected..

the ghost of youu; is all that i have left- it's all that i have left of youu to hold-

give and take.. an essential part of a true and understanding friendship... come to think of it.. there are people who just wanna take and not give anything back.. it's totally saddening, cause when youu feel youu've done quite a bit for that person, and put in ur utmost effort into helping that person.. you realise that the other party wont ever sacrifice/give way to youu at all.

what is a good example of a true friend? well, that's for youu to decide.. cause everyone has their own expectations. what's yours?

so i'd be going with the two of them.. "so what?", you may ask.. "it is just a concert!"

its not the concert dearrest..
its the fact that we agreed..
and u ended up backing out.
after all the discussions..

......

after me getting so much damned scolding from my parents jus because i asked them again and again.. just to give you an answer soon... so that youu cld find someone to go to the concert with...

i feel like i have to settle that issue once and for all. someway, somehow, im dunwanna let the friendship down.. i'll do all i can to salvage that friendship.. those lunch dates.. those fun times together.. surely i wouldn't want those to be just memories.. over a stupid concert, i don't think we should fight, it's hella stupid! though i'm sad, and i feel hurt, i know that there's always a solution to every problem.. if you dont give up.

however, as easy as it may sound (cause words are always easier than actions)..
its not even near easy.. cause after all...

char's been____really really hurt``

crapcrapcrapshit
and there it goes again..
picking up all the messy pieces..

the jigsaw's pieces are once again removed

and sitting at the little corner.. thelilgirl watches youu leave*

the best thing of the day: CHOIR.. i don't wanna step down.. honestlyy =( i love the fun times with the first two rows of alto mates.. namely Feli, Matt, Rm, Xun, Germaine and some others.. without youu guys.. choir would have lost its meaning..

isn't she pretty?

2006-03-23T18:49:00.000+08:00

``isn't that what youu told her too?
``aren't sorry(s) meant to be genuine?

i don't know what to believe now-

everything's just piled at one corner.. waiting for me to clear it all up. i wish i could just take them all and throw them away, into the bin or something.. and maybe burn them all up.. today, i had chinese oral and for once, it sucked- it was about sick people and i kept repeating my points.. and i was STAMMERING oh goodness.. i'm so gonna fail. goodbye to first 3months entry into junior college.i can't believe it's counted in prelims. sigh.

do youu know how much it hurts?-

bad new's been pressing me down, more and more each dayy-
i haven't been doing well in my studies..
my family hasn't been having smooth flowing relationships..
my friends.. are alright :)
and i'm glad God's been here for me.

but now; im so lost``

i wish i could go on a shopping spree to Paris.. money all sponsored.. i just wanna shop shop shop and forget everything.

thanks Clare for last night..
i love youu my best friend (=

i'll most probably be going for the youth mass on saturday.

signing out*
CHAR

-because of you;*

the idea of gross

2006-03-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

i've decided to blog after a period of absence... char's really bored lah... so cannot help it... and char wanna put a lot of stuffs out of her little mind... i'm gonna sleep before 12midnight today, so i don't need to see the time '12.34pm' on my computer clock.. i find it freaky though.. maybe it's because every night i never fail to see that time on the computer. haha.

the councillors spoke to the sec4E/5N students today during assembly about our grad night that (might) happen.. and they said that it would be held in school.. well, personally, i find that alright lahs... it's not the part about it being cheaper, but it's the school we'll gonna graduate from, not the hotel.. so.. yah, won't grad night in shss itself bring better memories? and i can imagine lah, on grad night can cry lehhs =x and speaking of crying; cca gonna stand down too. =( mann, i'll miss choir! now, i don't wanna leave liao lor. during sec 2/3 that time, i wished that the standing down date would come sooner.. but now i wished i didn't wish that then... now it's like a speeding bullet! i really enjoy the choir members' company... especially the altos.. my section mahs.. and i've been their section leader for quite a while.. i'll definitely miss my juniors... wonder how the farewell party would go... well, if there's any... =x

there was a jeopardy competition today.. between 4F,G and J.. and wow, pretty competitive i must say.. good job jacq & kai chin! it was worth watching lah.. assemblies like these aren't that bad lah.. :) unless it's the usual, boring ones about -you know whats-

lunched with ven @ kfc. thanks for the company dearrest! =)

computer addicts are violent.
and i agree with that so much.
cause i see a living evidence.
and he's none other than...

my primary 4 brother

can youu look back, and think.. how old were you when you actually placed the computer under your 'daily needs'? i bet it wasn't during primary 3 or 4 right? back in 1998/9.. we never even really found the computer a necessity.. and now, kids at this age are practically living for the computer. yup, for the computer. terrible lah!

hmmm, if you could spend 7min in heaven before coming back down again... what would you do? haha, i don't know why i suddenly asked myself that qn... but hey.. that is smth to ponder about right.. if you had the chance to ask God smth while being in heaven itself then come back down again...

i'm borrowing the 'Da Vinci Code' book from Sharmaine tomorrow. I heard that it is a nice book & its worth reading... hmmm... i'll see if its true tmr! hahas... speaking of tmr.. the day's gonna be long and tedious... and i hate it so much =( it's like... amaths+phys+chem straight after recess lah.. i think i'm probably gonna faint lor... so much to absorb... so little time... yet time flies so slowly during the lessons... its just during the night.. that you realise that the day's passed -way- faster than you've expected

i feel like bitching about somebody's attitude... but then again... maybe not... cause i feel like sleeping already =D yup, char shall try and blog more.. i only blog when i have the mood keke.

tk care everyone-
char*

true christian love

2006-03-19T21:01:00.000+08:00

#Love is encouraging others to succeed

#Love is making a difference in someone's life

#Love is respecting yourself and other people

#Love is being understanding

#Love is knowing when to say yes and when to say no

#Love is hard to live out

#Love is knowing when to be silent

#Love is not counting cost

#Love is freeing another person to be herself or himself

#Love is keeping your promises

#Love is sharing your smile

#Love is listening to other people

#Love is revealing your real self [emm; character lah DUH]

a list of definitions of Love...
<3 this is known as the 'greater than three' symbol.. harhar.. according to some people..

well, you might be wondering what's with the love love thing... since it's not valentines day or whatsoever.. my con class in church today talked about love... and it was fun la... not that bad... not boring... =) it really showed us the difference between the WORLD's love and CHRIST's love... and there really is -that- amount of difference lah.

okay i'm officially bored.. and the thought of going to school tomorrow.. =( i dont want to go to school anymore.. i dread the long hours of studying AND dread the idea of O LEVELS. its... so erm... soon? ahhhh X_x terrible... its coming... coming... =(

i realise i tend to slack too much... die lahh...
i dunwan go schooooooooooooooooooooooooool =(

nvm, at least there's friends...
and special friends...
and irritants.. and pinchers...and ticklers hehe...

=) my dears makes the world go round...

CHAR MUST STAY POSITIVE---

i'm gonna love youu out loud!

2006-03-18T20:37:00.000+08:00

i hate this holidays lahh.. there's no life in it at all.. and there's so much fights and quarrels and problems... well, i agree that this holiday had fun times.. and really meaningful ones too... but this one week wasnt that good lahhh... zzzz....

woke up at 1030am today.. and.. helped my cousin do the layout for his home econs project... well the cover page looked like this...

mann, tell me im sucha nice cousin hehe... okok fine... i won't be so bhb... i was pretty satisfied with the results... haha... then... i did some e maths.. and.. nothing else.. i realise i can't focus on my schoolwork during holidays.. and i see no point about issuing homeworks...

and at least.. give us more than a one week break lahh.. why so stingy de...

so in the afternoon i went to my piano teacher's house.. just to pop by... her 2 year old son's ADORABLE lahh... really cute... but can't win my godbrother hehe... she asked me to play for her recital... hmmm... maybe after my Chinese O levels? i dont know lar.. see first...

went with my parents to bedok interchange today... ate my brunch at 3+pm.. blahs.. stomach was rumblingg.. =(

came back and slacked like siao.. honestly i got NO mood to chiong at all lehs... Os so near.. and i'm like this.. i think i'd probably end up at ITE...

anyways; i watched the exorcism of Emily Rose yst.. and it was... pretty alright.. it wasnt scary.. but it made you think... the idea behind posession and all... blahss... youu can go read it on the thing lahh... it might freak you out.. but then again.. be strong in your faith! =)

okay char's out.. byeeee
see youu guys on Monday

why worry-

2006-03-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

Hey...

before i forget; special thank you(s) to go out to these people first: Xun; KL &Matt.
if it wasnt for you people; i think my life would have been worse... esp after what had happened today

(:
everyone deserves a smile

Anyanyways... you know the song 'The Perfect Situation' by Weezer? It's an awesome song btw... there's one line in it that goes like this: in a perfect situation; i let love down the drain... I had the sudden inspiration to modify it to this: in an unexpected situation ;life got more screwed

im not gonna elaborate on what happened today that kicked off the entire fuss.. and brought about a terrible fight involving the throwing of items; slamming doors and tears. my heart went like... rippppped apart...

chinese supplementary for 3hrs.. with a total of 40+min of break in between... don't know if i should count that as good or what..

looking on the bright side; i didn't copy answers for my cheng yu test today. i did it all by myself-

but then again; facing reality;
what is so good about doing well; yet no one appreciates it? what good does fighting for your rights bring about? in the end, all you get is dispute; anger; bitchiness (i can cite examples but this time i'd shut up); jealousy(truckload of e.g to cite too)... terrible terrible horrible society...

depression is just anger without enthusiasm- taken from he xun's nickname

true; duntcha think?

yst was hella fun.. had loadsa fun time with Clare; my sis; Mike; Nick; Chris &Marianne
one thing i must say: if you don't want a hyper char; dont give me ginger beer + ginger ale;
you'll regret =p

sadly; because of chinese and HER
i couldnt stay over.. yup

i wanted to say something bitchy about someone today. guess i'd skip it. though its tempting but.. nahh.. i'll be a nice soul.

tk care all (:

blind love

2006-03-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

Woke up at about 6.50am today.. thanks to my dear mum.. and i realised i was suppose to meet KL only at like... 7.50am? It was super darn early... but thank God the April issue of Cleo kept me company all the way till 7.55am... went to macs to buy my milo.. and read kl's letter.. while she attempted to steal my sweets..

it seemed like the workshop started about 15min late.. AND ended.. about 15-25 minutes later? well.. we started at 8.40+ and ended at 2.30+... yeah tell me how LONG that is... well Char is proud to say... she has learnt something today.. (= i just hope i can apply what i've learnt.. oh yea during the lesson; i was THAT bored i decided to try and do some art on my wrist.. lols.. now the red-pinky ink can't come out.. zzz... its damn fun; took a shot of it on my phone.. sadly.. this phone has no infrarred; no bluetooth; no NOTHING =( had a fun fun time with ven and kl.. :) though we were all sleepy and had no mood for the workshop.. well, at least.. we had company!! hehe..

so i went to tm with kl to run some errands.. lunched @ pastamania.. mann it's been sucha LONG time.. duntcha just love the long delicious pasta? yummy.. i love creamy chicken pasta... walked around tm.. bought my GREEN nail polish.. and now my fingers are greeeeeeen :)) then we walked into the pasar malam.. and saw.. wrapping papers.. at 10cents per piece.. grabbed a few real nice ones..

reached home at about 5
i was so damn the happy lah...
until...
now i realise im having my one and only mood swing again...
at 9.26pm..

fuck it all lah

you're the only one i love-

2006-03-13T20:14:00.000+08:00

so many things happened today...
goodness what can i say... life's a winding road...

i'm blah-deee stress... screw the freaking english stuffs that i have to hand in tomorrow.. this ain't a holiday!! i have two projects and a whole truckload of work to do.. =( and a whole load of other stuffs too...

i thank God for the people who've been with me all the way...
i thank God for the love he's given me...

a time to repent; reflect; refocus..

and now i'm left with el compo...

thank God i've got you* and you* and you* =)

terrible!

2006-03-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

i realised i've got geog project and chem project.. and a whole lot of homework to do.. and i've got a party to attend to..

this ain't a holiday.. ahhhhh*

the more i look at you

2006-03-12T21:36:00.000+08:00

the more i look at you the more i feel like bashing you up =)
really literally feel like bashing you up..

the day went pretty well.. fun-filled in fact.. cause of the company.. :)
went for con class.. church.. had choir practice after church.. and then lunched at long john with shar & tara.. had a fun time didnt we :) mrt-ed down with mum and sis to queenstown to visit my dear old ah ma.. the last time i went over was during the chinese new year visitation.. and the hamster's babies had grown.. adorable :)

went down to beach road.. parents had to get some camping stuffs.. so my sister and i had a little chat while feasting on dumplings.. boy they were delicious!! awesome.. haha.. i love the sesame ones in particular.. sesame rice balls :) yumyum..

ate the boon tong kee chicken rice for dinner
food fiesta =P

watched the league of xtrodinary gentlemen.. brings back memories ya know that show.. blahs.. shant think about it..

off to bathe now :)
looking forward to a wonderful week ahead..

it'd better be..

(bah's i shld be more optimistic so..)

the week WILL rock! :)

CHAR*

so you've gotten over it..

2006-03-11T09:09:00.000+08:00

looks like you've gotten over it already.. so i ask you.. if you lose your loved one.. it'll take you an hour or so to get over it as well?

that heck care attitude..
that over-happy-go-lucky attitude..

what a turn off to me*

fought with my brother last night.. found out someone had that kinda attitude last night..
and so i asked myself,

whats wrong with society?

hmm that line's from a song right?
'Crazy' by Simple Plan..

[x]__and so i'll hide my emotions;

revamping my entire study area today.. need to start planning now.. like where should i put my stuffs for what subject etc.. might be gng out to meet kl later.. so i'll prolly buzz her later then.. and i must remind myself to start on my holiday assignment homeworks.. 2 projects.. and since both invoves bb boys as well.. i'll just make use of the earlier part of the holiday to do my other stuffs-

till next time..
tk care all! =)

i will still love you...

2006-03-09T19:57:00.000+08:00

i didn't know how a day's incidents can really change the life of a person. i didn't know how a day's incident could also show how true your friends are. and i didn't know a day's incident could just ruin a person's life..

have you felt the feeling that you'd wanted to help someone.. and assure the person that you'd always be there.. but somehow.. you knw that you can honestly do nothing? would your constant words help them realise they're not alone? or would they be overly irritated.. though they know you're doing it for their own good? sometimes you just wish you could do more.. but again, on a second thought.. you felt that shutting up would do the trick.. its a freaking dilemma.. a fucked up and terribly confusing situation.. cause you know you can do nothing.. but you wanna do something.. but then on second thought you'd rather not.. =(

being in this kinda situation makes your mind go all whirly.. esp if you make the other party 'upset' or 'pissed off' with your words which were meant to be encouragement.. thank God i didn't make the other party feel that way.. but i feel so useless now.. 'cause i really wanna do something to help.. esp with the type of situation the person's in.. i really want to help, cause that person's done so much for me.. the person had shown me love for a long time.. but.. i just dont know what to do.. and honestly, that makes me terribly.. terribly.. useless..

i was listening to Mr Ang's morning devotion today (suddenly i felt the inspiration to do that), and found it really thoughtful.. and something i could dwell on.. i've understood his devotion cause i've thought through what he'd mentioned last year.. i asked myself then.. why do we rmb God giving us an unfair life.. but we rarely praise him, or see the 'good' side to the bad hiccup?

What's wrong with the minds of people now?
Why do we see nothing but a competitive and angry society?
Why do we see bias acts from those who teach us and nuture our moral values too?
Why are people who thinks they're right.. wanna always be right?

the world is going all wrong.. society's all crappy..
haixx.. i just hope that situation would settle soon..
im praying.. and no matter what the outcome..
i'll still love you (:

cause i must learn to believe that all things have its goods*

the day went pretty alright.. damn sian.. until someone told me something that had happened.. i really wished life could have been more smooth flowing for that someone.. but then again.. that someone will have goodness and grace from God, one way or another.. and i believe that the someone can pull through!

thank you Xun.. :) really thanks..

[c]onfusion_____[x]

2006-03-07T19:11:00.000+08:00

[N]ow______________[x]

i've realised that im fed up and confused

about what's been happening...

but i still have no guts to say it all out.

sometimes when i look at you..

i just wanted to ask... 'You alright girl?'

or maybe.. 'How about lunch this friday?'

But i'd wonder before asking you..

was i just any other friend of hers now?

Or still that special someone?

[D]rifting____________[x]

i hate the idea of drifting..

but then again.. its a natural thing..

human error.. to put other stuffs..

and every other friendship before a particular..

which was once so strong.. and now so barren.

I look at the letters..

the advices.... and what remained of our

friendship/relationship..

after all we've been through..

is this parting worth it?

[E]veryone_________[x]

makes mistakes..

and i know you did.. and so have i..

we might have said things we both regret..

and because of that we've nothing to say to each other now..

you say, i say, and more troubles formed..

till it piled up in heep.. and it cant be resolved...

Why cant we just put everything aside..

and go back to the way things were?

to the days we would hang out and do silly things..

You may think i'm angry with you..

cause of one silly thing...

I agreed i have been..

fuming mad with much high blood pressure..

but.. i was more of heartbroken and upset than angry..

and now i really wanna bury the hatchet..

[T]ears____________[x]

fall from my eyes just thinking about this..

Maybe im the lousier friendship keeper..

Or maybe i've let you down...

But to be honest.. a friendship is an

agreement on two parts..

to start one.. both parties have to commit..

and to patch back a broken one..

both.. have to work together..

you know who you are*

im just stating this..

as i really cannot contain

it inside me anymore..

you might not have read this..

cause maybe.. this blog ain't one of

your daily readings anymore..

but im just gonna leave it here..

till as long as this blog stays*

I loved that friendship... which i once smiled while talking about it.. now, i could barely smile.. all i could do was think silently about it.. and maybe see drops of tears..

xoxo signing out xoxo

o__-[x]char____o

MONDAY!

2006-03-06T21:12:00.000+08:00

its a monday..
but..

---i didn't go to school_______________[*]

i'm still having flu; cough; whatever.. sadly.. and i had my grade 8 piano exam today.. retook it for the second time.. yeah i know i sound stupid.. but whatever. and for the first time in history of me taking an ABRSM, my examiner was a man. male. haha.. and old man..

i dunt feel like going to school tomorrow..
i really dont..

im damn lazy...
i just wish i had more fever.. more reason to stay at home.. =(

i have some issues i wish nvr existed..
but then again.. i dont want to comment.. to risk another misunderstanding..

______sigh

phobia

2006-03-04T19:14:00.000+08:00

hey..

im glad the fever's subsided.. but i still feel so weak.. i just hope i'll be able to do well for my piano exam on Monday. Other than that.. i'm not hoping for anything else. i just want to pass... failing piano has become a phobia already... i don't want anymore =( well it's been boring day.. practiced piano.. more and more piano.. =( i just hope i'd pass... it'll be the best gift ever.. from ABRSM...

i didnt expect my parents to go for the parent's teacher thing. haha, thank God the teachers gave pretty good comments or i'd be dead..

i should start studying for Os..
but i have no motivation =(
yes i know thats a bad bad excuse..

ahhhhhhh*

im talking about love~

2006-03-03T19:00:00.000+08:00

hello-

went home at 11+ today.. after the test papers; freaking high fever.. since this morning. seems like i was fine the day before le.. there wasnt any fever.. but there was flu and cough lah.

i hate e maths now
i dunt like the paper
now i've lost my A1 =(

i hope i'll pass chem this time
so i know i'll do myself justice =)
seems like the sub sci people found their paper easy too

just now at about 3+ i almost fainted.. and when i reach the mattress i collapsed on it.
at that time my whole body was superbly pain..
all the thoughts came into my mind.. like.. what if i needa go hospital? it was damn the fucking pain
i felt paralysed.. like assif i cldnt move one bit lah.. and when i did.. there would be this sharp pain.. sigh

thank God after praying.. my tempt is now lowered so much-

thanks to everyone who told me to get well soon. :)
thanks for ur concern!!

love!

charmaine loves

2006-03-02T20:35:00.000+08:00

hey

so i havent gotten over the incident that happened yesterday.
and im sick.. sian. i just came back from the doctor..
im doing badly in my studies..
puipui-

i love my compo on marriage..
and i did ok for it.. quite well la.. so im gonna type it out during the weekend to give ms lim. yup

other than that..
other than compos..
and a little sec 4 e maths.. (sec 3 trigo and circles properties' screwed up like shit lah.)
i ain't doing well at all..

the doc gave me white tiny pills for my blocked nose-
but powerful.. hmmm... wonder if i'll doze off cause of it tonight

maybe.. its good to just fall asleep unnaturally lah..
after all.. i need the sleep sigh

okie dinner now
might blog later =)

fallen from grace

2006-03-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

just when i thought i had the mood to blog a long and lovely entry after being "away" from blogging the past days.. i was wrong.

just when i was about to blog about my ash wednesday happenings..
things got real screwed up and now im in no mood

lies. does it really bring anyone anywhere?
rumours. does it really bring those big mouths anywhere?
over-protection. does it really do any good?

i really don't know what im feeling anymore.i thought that she turned a blind eye to this whole situation. i guess.. i was wrong.. and it hurts cause i dont even know her well.. and she had to do that to me.. yeah i know i'm not the goody-two shoes kinda sec four student.. but it doesnt mean i don't deserve a 'property' of yours.. hais.

ven was just telling me today; that i'll have to tolerate this for a long time.. but it's really hard.. i dont know how to deal with it anymore.. =( i feel so bad.. that i could the cause of scoldings, railings and fights in another family..i didn't mean for this to happen.. and i didn't know you're really such a pathetatic selfish immatured woman.

its fucking upsetting i tell you. thank God i still have the motivation to do well for ss tmr. if not i'll literally shut myself away from reality..

to all those big mouths and 'beautiful' gossippers.. i know you guys love to bitch around etc..let me tell you..while you love to do that.. and spread things about others..you're hurting more than one people..

this has nothing to do with ppl in our age group. im just stating a fact in general.. so ya.. it's the period of lent now (the period before easter).. so do some reflection.. penance & abstinence if you gossip about others or bitch about them will ya?

you dont know how many people's relationships/friendships you'll hurt

now im in a big dilemma..
and im sick..
the feeling is horrible..
im totally upset.. and motivationless.. well, except for ss and eng tmr la.. that's all im motivated for tmr..

yup, that means i wont be happy in a maths tuition; neither will i be happy at my piano recital...
im literally dying..
stressed out..

=(

she's fallen from grace..
she's all over the place..

well just a short thing from today..
today i did revision for ss. ct today was pretty shitty; just hope i'll pass- went on the engineering thing today. went with ven to meet kl.. passed kl some stuffs.. get well soon dear.. im already missing yahh. =( then something happened.. but i thought it wldnt turn out that bad.. went home studied ss.. went to church after that.. and to be honest..

i was damn happy..
except that im stress & sick la..
but at least.. happy.

till she came along..
hais.. i no mood le la

bye for now-

and i can't sleep without youu baby-

2006-02-26T20:16:00.000+08:00

hello-

just had my dinner- chicken cutlet; with fries; etc.. ya know the usual western food..
taking a break now before starting on chinese. i'm super super full.. can't study in this state; haha i don't know why. hmm.

the day went alright.. not bad actually..
went for lunch with my family after church.. then rushed off for piano studio practice. the place is like... so ulu lar.. and they have only ONE piano studio room.. some bohemia music centre or smth? it's so wierd, having an exam in tanjong katong area.. those old houses place.. so ulu lah... my piano's alright.. only my scales.. and i really want to pass my grade 8 leh.. *prays*

went to ntuc (bedok) to buy ice cream with my family.. as usual.. my sis, bro and i would be fighting over the choice of ice cream.. haha.. in the end.. we all got tubs of 'em.. yummy.. don't youu just love ice cream hehe. ice cream rocks <3 it just simply takes all the sadness and stresses away from ya mind

stayed at home the entire afternoon.. did all the homework.. i'm left with 2 chinese compre passages.. then i'll start with my rounds of revision for my ct. i need freaking help for my a maths differentiation homework cause i'm sooooo lazy to do.. :X any kind souls. haha.. and speaking of that.. i have LOADSA tuition homework to do =(( sobs-

i realise i'm hating people again.. :X char- enough of that.. i can't hate.. im not suppose too.. hmmm.. ii believe that life's better if you dont go and criticise others.. so if im hating someone cus they criticise others, im being a critic as well.. so i'd just.. shut up and pray for the person/people. yuppie.. CHAR- be a nice person.

im oh so nice.. =))

anyways.. have u heard of the 7 deadly roots of sin?
ii learnt all this in con class today.. so see if you're on ur way to deadly sins.. hmm.. here it goes..

1. pride
2. greed
3. lust
4. gluttony
5. sloth
6. anger/wrath
7. envy

it's not really in any order (cause i kinda messed up the order already)..
hmmm... everyone.. lets reflect and refocus..

and we'll all be happy :)

CHARisOUT``

cheese-

2006-02-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

fought with dad and mum..
over my handphone thing..

real upset; but i couldn't do anything..
thanks to you* though.. things are much better

im happy that i have people who love me and vice versa-

xun just told me about a place where there's good seafood.. and its like some all-u-can-eat thing.. u cook ur own.. so yummy.. haha.. should hang out there with good buddys for dinner one day.. maybe my birthday or smth.. or maybe the day before.. hmm.. sounds like fun =)

piano studio practice tmr-
i hope i don't screw up..
i just want to pass.. at least..
God.. grant me that pls..

here's a lovely song.. old but.. lovely (=

before i fall in love
by coco lee

[Verse 1:]
My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
Cuz my heart's been fooled before
Am I'm just seeing what I want to see
Or is it true
Could you really be
[Chorus:]
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love
[Verse 2:]
And I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
But I wanna take a chance
Oh please
Give me a reason to believe
Say you're the one that you'll always be
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now
Before I fall in love
[Bridge:]
It's been so hard for me
To give my heart away
But I would give my everything
Just to hear you say...
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now
Before I fall in love

haha-
i just simply love this song..
its so nice..
though its real real old..

k lah i shall go off now..
i got church tmr..
ciaoo-

you*

cupcakes

2006-02-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

heyy all;

myy legs were aching the entire day..
terrible!!! and we even had to have pe.. blahhs tell me how cocky that is mann..
lunched with xun and joyce.. went back with xun..

nothing much la today..
i came back home and had ta sleep on the floor 0_0 cause my ah ma wanted to clean the rooms.. woke up with a horrible backache and limped my way to tuition..

i realise my table's totally infested with ants the moment i put any sweet things there..
its so wierd.. i think the cupboard's infested with ants..

better check it out*

char-

xcountry

2006-02-23T14:02:00.000+08:00

first thing first- congrats to all top 20s and top teams.. this year was hella competitive.. =S really. so.. surprisingly i woke up at 6.30; cause i couldnt sleep (and now i can't wait to bathe and then go and take a nap) shar and cal came up to put their things.. before leaving for the reservoir. got in 7th position this year.. but im quite happy cause i managed to run non-stop la.. it's kind of an achievement anyways... X)

and congrats 4G.. for getting CLASS CHAMP once again!!! =)) real proud of youu guyss yeaa! and tmr.. yup.. the bagg lols.. can't believe it..

went for lunch.. bought some stuffs.. and now i'm back..

somethins happen; i wont eleborate..
i just won't be able to tolerate any of such bullshits any further..
i've had enough things on my mind..
so yeah.. i can't be bothered with such craps..

byebye*

||+br0ken iinsiide+||

2006-02-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

hello.

today was learniing journey and, i can proudly say... after going through 4 years of learning journeys in shss; this had been the most educational! last year's was the most FUN one.. the boat ride part lar.. we went to visit the CNB; about drugs and all that. we had a talk... teabreak... video... hahaa... cool huh- and we're the only class to go to this place this year; heh- i saw how so many people ruined their life by taking all these drugs; its so not worth it.. they should ban smoking in singapore also, and let the CNB chase people who smoke too. hrmph. sorry, i just have smth against smoking too. smoking and drugs- in my NONO list. yup.

came back to school and had a talk with the science HODs and the principal. it was.. erm.. err.. ok, no comments. >.<

went for lunch with venassa & yiru.. kfc.. damn i'm scared i'll get fat!
too much fast food..

and speaking of that..

*screams*
cross country on thurs-
damn

went for tuition-
damn im officially shagged

grrr- and some ppl... KUKUFARTS-
=S

when.u.tell.me.that... you love me<3

2006-02-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

hello...

i didn't have a gd sleep last night, due to the fact that someone brought up a possibility.. maybe.. the person wanted to steal my phone just to get some info.. but then again, those msg(es) are THAT pnc that no one..not even my closest buddies have seen them.. so yup.. if ppl find out, it'll mean that i can trace the stealer. but anyways.. like my good buddy was telling me: trade rumours for phone? i was like: erm; i dont have a choice; do i.. but that's IF the person really had that motive.. and if that person really had nothing better to do.. and just wanna make life shitty for me..

``and just when i needed youu; youu disappeared into thin air; as if youu didn't exist- =O

the morning was spent in church; and the afternoon at home finishing up the remaining homework.. i was so shagged i took a short nap.. that turned out to be 45min long.. lol. cycled down with cousin and brother for bubble tea.. i had the mood to drink sweet stuffs.. as i needed to stay happy.. but then.. till now.. i'm still not ready for anything. i'm stil sad because of my hp lost.. it really hurts so much.. as its barely 2 months old. not even two months.. and.. the way my dad spoke to me just because of my phone being stolen.. was really damn tear-jerking. my own dad.. blaming me for this.. sigh.. and someone else too.. i called her.. and she said it was partlyy my fault..

i've had enough of all that alreadyy.. =( really.. cant u just be there for me.. comfort me, instead of telling me: its partly my fault. please.. im undergoing a mental breakdown already.. so STOP IT.. =(

now im trying to get the motivation to complete as much of my geog ca studying... im praying that i can make it through.. will i?

jia you everyone.. ca's approaching- blahss..

-char

haix

2006-02-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

did this new layout in half an hour.. faster than i thought.. hope it's nice.. comment yea..

anyways.. thanks to the people who have been constantly here for me.. because of my handphone thing.. i'll never be able to tolerate all this without all of youu. through this.. i can point out who my true friends are, and who are those who would show concern.. i don't have any assurance that my phone would come back to me.. still upset about it.. but.. there's nothing i can do about it la.. =( oh well... had piano today. the practice this morning really helps. i just pray i'll be able to scrape through.. i dont want this year to be entitled the suay-ed year sia.. blahss.

nothing much to say, just that..
hope you guys like this template =D

kk ciiao```
muackkss

it hurts so much..

2006-02-17T22:34:00.000+08:00

first my zen..
now .this.

i dont know who has so much hatred and spite against me, that he/she has to resort to taking what doesn't belong to them. i've worked so hard to earn the credits from my parents.. to get these things that i really want, yet all these people do is just wash all the happiness away, because they are selfish and only care about what "benefits" them. i don't hate the sinner, i only hate the sin. but it really hurt me loads. I've never had anything so great against the people in this school.. and i've never mixed around with bad company, and bring evil and hurt to another person via physical means, have i? i feel like drowning myself, and isolating myself from people.. i cannot tolerate the fact that one of the safest place in Singapore (schools), is actually the place where people start learning to steal.

and just when i feel sad because someone stole my phone, some people had to actually make things worse. as i'm typing, i'm actually remembering all the things that some loved ones had promised me.. and now, i really don't know how to confide in anyone anymore.. it's so heartbreaking. and when i'm in a bad mood, i'd still try to cheer others up.. but some just think that 'myself' is all that matters. as much as your own problems are your priorities, does it really itch to help another person who is as sad, or even worse? and worse thing is, the person was someone i'd never expect, and i'm real disappointed. and another can never sort out his priorities in life.. it's always those two things above everything else.. so how can i trust? how can i live on by depending on these people if i'd fall? who'd really be there for me?

thanks to most of the 4G people..
thanks matt..
thanks xunny..
thanks samantha..
thanks felicia..
thanks ben choo..
thanks calista..

and thanks to all those who've helped me.. one way or another.. you guys are cherished..

and oh yea.. thanks calvin chang for saying 'first u lost your zen, then now yr hp.. nxt time ur life ah?' okok i know you were joking.. ah well.

oh yea and to that stealer: i don't hate you; i just want you to realize that you're wrong.. get a life..

till nxt time.. bb